1 00:03:26,876 --> 00:03:30,812 Frank, why don't you admit that you're lying about this? 2 00:03:30,847 --> 00:03:33,338 - Why would I lie about this? - So then you would lie. 3 00:03:33,383 --> 00:03:34,509 I didn't say I would lie. 4 00:03:34,551 --> 00:03:36,519 You just said, "Why would I lie about this?" 5 00:03:36,553 --> 00:03:38,885 From which it can be inferred that there are things... 6 00:03:38,922 --> 00:03:42,016 No, no, no. Wait a minute. 7 00:03:42,058 --> 00:03:44,356 Let's assume that somewhere, some time in my life... 8 00:03:44,394 --> 00:03:46,294 I have told a lie, OK? 9 00:03:46,329 --> 00:03:48,923 Does that mean I'm lying now? 10 00:03:48,965 --> 00:03:51,798 All right, so let me just get this straight. 11 00:03:51,835 --> 00:03:53,200 By all means. Just... 12 00:03:53,236 --> 00:03:56,728 You're telling me that your mother... 13 00:03:56,773 --> 00:03:59,173 had sexual intercourse with Frank Sinatra, 14 00:03:59,209 --> 00:04:00,608 and that's why you're named Frank? 15 00:04:00,643 --> 00:04:01,837 That's right. 16 00:04:05,615 --> 00:04:08,550 - Uh-huh. - What? 17 00:04:08,585 --> 00:04:09,882 And your father? 18 00:04:09,919 --> 00:04:11,819 He never slept with Sinatra. It was just my mother. 19 00:04:11,855 --> 00:04:14,346 Does your father know about this? 20 00:04:14,390 --> 00:04:17,086 He's the one who told me. I think he knows. 21 00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:21,256 I can always tell when you're bullshitting. 22 00:04:21,297 --> 00:04:23,731 No, you can't. That's why I always beat you in poker. 23 00:04:23,766 --> 00:04:24,926 You never beat me in poker. 24 00:04:24,968 --> 00:04:26,265 - He always does. - He doesn't. 25 00:04:26,302 --> 00:04:29,465 He always beats you and you come home all pissed off. 26 00:04:29,505 --> 00:04:30,904 Does he? 27 00:04:30,940 --> 00:04:33,272 Don't be jumping into this. He doesn't need your help. 28 00:04:33,309 --> 00:04:36,642 - He comes home crying to mommy. - You do, sweetie! 29 00:04:38,348 --> 00:04:40,009 Why does this happen to me? 30 00:04:40,049 --> 00:04:41,744 You're always teaming up with him. 31 00:04:41,784 --> 00:04:43,547 You're supposed to be on my side. 32 00:04:43,586 --> 00:04:47,386 But then I would always be wrong, too. 33 00:04:47,423 --> 00:04:49,584 You don't even know what we're talking about here. 34 00:04:49,626 --> 00:04:51,856 Frank was named after Frank Sinatra. 35 00:04:51,895 --> 00:04:53,522 - That's right. - Yeah. 36 00:04:53,563 --> 00:04:55,258 You mean, you didn't know that? 37 00:04:58,067 --> 00:05:00,934 Did I ever tell you what my middle name was, Joe? 38 00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:03,336 Let me guess: Sammy, right? 39 00:05:03,373 --> 00:05:05,500 Your mom did the wild thing with the Candy Man, too? 40 00:05:05,541 --> 00:05:08,339 That's amazing. It's Franklin Samuel. 41 00:05:08,378 --> 00:05:11,211 You guys are really funny. 42 00:05:42,145 --> 00:05:43,476 Hey. 43 00:05:45,415 --> 00:05:47,576 You all right? 44 00:05:47,617 --> 00:05:49,676 Yeah. I'm hung over. 45 00:05:49,719 --> 00:05:50,981 I can't believe I have to face... 46 00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:54,114 a class full of eight-year-olds tomorrow. 47 00:05:54,157 --> 00:05:56,125 So take the day off. 48 00:05:56,159 --> 00:05:58,150 Frank, I just took the week off. 49 00:05:58,194 --> 00:06:01,129 What's one more day going to hurt? 50 00:06:01,164 --> 00:06:04,292 Someday you'll have a job, and then you'll understand. 51 00:06:04,334 --> 00:06:06,199 I've had a job before. 52 00:06:21,384 --> 00:06:23,284 I don't even know if I do. 53 00:06:24,921 --> 00:06:27,355 - What's that? - A little present. 54 00:06:27,390 --> 00:06:29,051 What, for me? 55 00:06:29,092 --> 00:06:31,856 After all these years, you're still spoiling me like this? 56 00:06:31,894 --> 00:06:33,623 If you don't want it, I can give it to Frank. 57 00:06:33,663 --> 00:06:36,860 - I'll take it. - No, it's mine. 58 00:06:36,899 --> 00:06:39,800 Unless it's a jawbreaker. Then you can have it. 59 00:06:39,836 --> 00:06:41,133 Thank you. 60 00:06:41,170 --> 00:06:45,334 It's a ring. That's so sweet. 61 00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:46,933 Yeah. 62 00:06:46,976 --> 00:06:50,935 - It's about time, pumpkinhead. - It really is about time. 63 00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:53,380 When are we going to set the wedding? 64 00:06:55,785 --> 00:06:58,447 - How about May? - May. That's nice. 65 00:06:58,488 --> 00:07:00,683 May wedding. What do you think, Frank? 66 00:07:00,723 --> 00:07:03,590 May works for me. I'm off the whole month. 67 00:07:03,626 --> 00:07:05,116 It'd give me a little time to shop. 68 00:07:05,161 --> 00:07:10,497 I guess all that's left is for you to ask me officially. 69 00:07:10,533 --> 00:07:11,795 OK. 70 00:07:16,839 --> 00:07:22,607 Sarah, if this ring will do until I can afford a real one... 71 00:07:24,447 --> 00:07:26,176 It's not funny anymore. 72 00:07:26,215 --> 00:07:28,376 It's not meant to be. 73 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,281 Will you marry me? 74 00:07:41,831 --> 00:07:43,822 Well, say yes. 75 00:07:53,042 --> 00:07:57,138 OK. OK, yes. Yes. 76 00:08:00,950 --> 00:08:03,077 About goddamn time! 77 00:08:05,421 --> 00:08:09,050 Is there anyone present who knows a reason... 78 00:08:09,092 --> 00:08:13,859 why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony? 79 00:08:13,896 --> 00:08:17,957 Speak now or forever hold your peace. 80 00:08:19,669 --> 00:08:21,728 Come on. Isn't anybody going to help me out here? 81 00:08:21,771 --> 00:08:24,296 You better not do that tomorrow. 82 00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:26,331 You're just going to have to wait and see. 83 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:27,603 I'll kill you. 84 00:08:30,947 --> 00:08:34,075 And now, according to the power vested in me, 85 00:08:34,117 --> 00:08:39,111 I declare this rehearsal over, and amen. 86 00:08:39,155 --> 00:08:40,782 Hi, Sarah. Hi, Joseph. 87 00:08:40,823 --> 00:08:44,122 You know, I just want to say congratulations, 88 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,628 and I know I've teased you both... 89 00:08:46,662 --> 00:08:49,495 about the pitfalls of marriage throughout the years, 90 00:08:49,532 --> 00:08:52,057 but I just wanted to say... 91 00:08:52,101 --> 00:08:54,626 why didn't you listen? 92 00:08:54,670 --> 00:08:58,071 It's not too late. You've been shacking up for years. 93 00:08:58,107 --> 00:09:00,598 It worked out perfectly. I got a tankful of gas. 94 00:09:00,643 --> 00:09:03,806 We can head to the Mexican border right now. 95 00:09:03,846 --> 00:09:07,111 Duane and I would just like to wish you... 96 00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:11,382 all of the happiness and joy in the world. 97 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:14,548 Yes. Marriage - it's a beautiful thing. 98 00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:18,492 Sarah, it's a big day tomorrow. 99 00:09:22,031 --> 00:09:25,523 I know you and Joseph will be very happy together. 100 00:09:27,170 --> 00:09:28,899 You're a great catch. 101 00:09:28,938 --> 00:09:33,307 I don't know you that well, but I've known you long enough. 102 00:09:33,342 --> 00:09:35,833 We've never really gotten into any deep conversations, 103 00:09:35,878 --> 00:09:39,905 but I consider you a friend. 104 00:09:39,949 --> 00:09:43,942 And Joseph's an old friend. And I just want you to know... 105 00:09:43,986 --> 00:09:47,820 that I think you two are going to be very happy together... 106 00:09:47,857 --> 00:09:50,655 and make a wonderful couple. 107 00:09:50,693 --> 00:09:52,888 Do you have something to say to Joseph... 108 00:09:52,929 --> 00:09:56,365 on the eve of the most important day of his adult life? 109 00:09:56,399 --> 00:10:00,335 I think it's great they're in love and everything. 110 00:10:00,369 --> 00:10:04,465 Congratulations, I guess, are in order. 111 00:10:04,507 --> 00:10:07,601 Make sure you have me over for dinner a lot. 112 00:10:07,643 --> 00:10:09,167 The thing about marriage, though, man... 113 00:10:09,212 --> 00:10:13,273 it's not like poker where you're sitting at a table... 114 00:10:13,316 --> 00:10:16,251 and you've got a bad streak going - 115 00:10:16,285 --> 00:10:18,219 you can just walk away, get out of there. 116 00:10:18,254 --> 00:10:21,621 But, you know, marriage is... You got to stay there. 117 00:10:21,657 --> 00:10:24,353 And you keep getting bad hands and losing money... 118 00:10:24,393 --> 00:10:26,088 and you lose and you lose and you lose... 119 00:10:26,128 --> 00:10:29,586 and it can break you, and you can leave with nothing. 120 00:10:29,632 --> 00:10:34,092 Here's the portrait of a successful marriage. 121 00:10:34,136 --> 00:10:38,163 Amy, could you tell Joseph and Sarah... 122 00:10:38,207 --> 00:10:44,168 what has been the key to your successful bond? 123 00:10:44,213 --> 00:10:46,010 Forgiveness. 124 00:10:47,316 --> 00:10:51,753 You have to learn to forgive and forget. 125 00:10:51,787 --> 00:10:55,814 Are there any specifics you'd like to go into... 126 00:10:55,858 --> 00:10:59,692 in terms of exercising forgiveness? 127 00:11:01,097 --> 00:11:03,088 There's a little forgiveness muscle... 128 00:11:03,132 --> 00:11:05,225 and very few people know about it. 129 00:11:05,268 --> 00:11:07,236 If you don't have it, you're in trouble. 130 00:11:07,270 --> 00:11:10,137 That's right. And we've got a little machine at home... 131 00:11:10,172 --> 00:11:14,040 that exercises that forgiveness muscle. 132 00:11:14,076 --> 00:11:16,909 - Really? - I'll show you ours. 133 00:11:16,946 --> 00:11:18,811 If you'll show me yours. 134 00:11:20,216 --> 00:11:21,843 OK. 135 00:11:29,058 --> 00:11:33,154 How have you avoided getting hooked? 136 00:11:33,195 --> 00:11:35,186 How? 137 00:11:35,231 --> 00:11:38,689 I don't know. I never met a woman like Sarah. 138 00:11:38,734 --> 00:11:42,670 What about that cover girl/actress you were seeing? 139 00:11:42,705 --> 00:11:44,002 What the hell was her name? 140 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,166 Marianne. 141 00:11:45,207 --> 00:11:47,300 Marianne. Whoo, boy! 142 00:11:47,343 --> 00:11:49,743 You should've married her, man. She was fucking gorgeous. 143 00:11:49,779 --> 00:11:51,178 She was beautiful. 144 00:11:51,213 --> 00:11:53,306 Only problem was, once I ran out of ways to tell her that, 145 00:11:53,349 --> 00:11:55,749 the relationship sort of fizzled. 146 00:11:55,785 --> 00:11:57,946 But she was beautiful. 147 00:11:57,987 --> 00:12:00,649 Well, to the ones that got away. 148 00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:03,625 How about to the one... 149 00:12:03,659 --> 00:12:05,183 - Hi. - Hi. 150 00:12:05,227 --> 00:12:06,694 ...who didn't? 151 00:12:06,729 --> 00:12:07,889 Hear, hear. 152 00:12:12,468 --> 00:12:13,958 Strong enough? 153 00:12:14,003 --> 00:12:16,335 We're running a little short on the bloody marriage mix. 154 00:12:16,372 --> 00:12:19,273 Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. 155 00:12:19,308 --> 00:12:22,766 - Right. - Right. 156 00:12:22,812 --> 00:12:24,746 You guys do have a certain glow about you. 157 00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:27,010 Doesn't she? She's a saint, too. 158 00:12:27,049 --> 00:12:28,880 Please. 159 00:12:31,654 --> 00:12:33,713 I'm marrying the most beautiful woman in the world! 160 00:12:33,756 --> 00:12:35,883 - Please, stop. - No, not even just the world... 161 00:12:35,925 --> 00:12:37,654 the entire universe! 162 00:12:38,794 --> 00:12:40,455 I can hardly wait till we're married. 163 00:12:40,496 --> 00:12:41,656 Why? 164 00:12:41,697 --> 00:12:44,222 Because I never have to have sex with you again. 165 00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,001 A toast! 166 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,436 To the bachelor's life! 167 00:12:53,743 --> 00:12:56,678 No. I'm kidding. All right, to marriage. 168 00:12:56,712 --> 00:12:58,646 Yeah. To marriage. 169 00:12:58,681 --> 00:13:01,275 - To our marriage. - To our marriage. 170 00:13:02,585 --> 00:13:05,247 - And to our friends. - Yeah! 171 00:13:05,287 --> 00:13:08,188 To the bride and groom. 172 00:13:08,224 --> 00:13:11,284 May they treat each other as well as they've treated me. 173 00:13:11,327 --> 00:13:12,487 Hear, hear. 174 00:13:15,297 --> 00:13:17,322 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 175 00:13:17,366 --> 00:13:19,766 Go! Go! Go! 176 00:13:19,802 --> 00:13:22,236 That's mature, Joseph. 177 00:13:26,442 --> 00:13:28,034 Excuse me. 178 00:13:30,713 --> 00:13:31,941 Hi. 179 00:13:35,151 --> 00:13:37,585 Jesus. You'll be all right, Joey. 180 00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:40,418 It's not so bad. It's only the rehearsal. 181 00:13:40,456 --> 00:13:42,117 Remember our wedding, honey? 182 00:13:42,158 --> 00:13:44,683 We got so stoned I fell down her mother's stairs. 183 00:13:44,727 --> 00:13:47,491 Yeah, that was great, Duane. 184 00:13:47,530 --> 00:13:49,054 - I'm all right. - Let's get out of here. 185 00:13:49,098 --> 00:13:51,658 - You OK? - Yeah. 186 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:54,430 God, Joseph, don't you ever chew your food? 187 00:13:54,470 --> 00:13:56,097 Shut up, Nigel. 188 00:14:01,644 --> 00:14:04,078 Haven't seen much of you lately. 189 00:14:06,115 --> 00:14:08,049 Got a girl? 190 00:14:08,083 --> 00:14:10,608 - A couple. - Oh, a couple. 191 00:14:10,653 --> 00:14:13,781 - Do they know that? - I'm pretty obvious. 192 00:14:15,524 --> 00:14:17,583 I've been thinking about moving back east. 193 00:14:17,626 --> 00:14:18,820 Why? 194 00:14:18,861 --> 00:14:22,024 I don't know. Things have just... 195 00:14:22,064 --> 00:14:24,794 I don't know. I get headaches out here. 196 00:14:24,834 --> 00:14:27,359 Everybody gets headaches. It's the smog. 197 00:14:27,403 --> 00:14:28,597 Yeah. 198 00:14:45,721 --> 00:14:49,384 You know that first time that Joe and I broke up? 199 00:14:51,327 --> 00:14:53,022 Which first time? 200 00:14:53,062 --> 00:14:56,759 The first, first time. 201 00:14:56,799 --> 00:14:58,630 Why are you laughing? The first, first time. 202 00:14:58,667 --> 00:15:00,294 - Oh, the first, first time! - Yeah. 203 00:15:00,336 --> 00:15:02,065 I'm sorry. 204 00:15:02,104 --> 00:15:07,098 Anyway, that first, first time Joe and I broke up, 205 00:15:07,142 --> 00:15:10,168 I almost went after you. 206 00:15:12,248 --> 00:15:15,149 - Get out of here. - I did. I did. 207 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,554 You mean, after me, after me? 208 00:15:20,589 --> 00:15:22,784 After you. 209 00:15:22,825 --> 00:15:25,521 I guess it's lucky I was shy. 210 00:15:25,561 --> 00:15:28,860 It would be pretty uncomfortable now, wouldn't it? 211 00:15:28,898 --> 00:15:30,559 We would have gotten over it. 212 00:15:33,002 --> 00:15:35,470 Joey would have thought it was all about him... 213 00:15:35,504 --> 00:15:37,301 and once we got back together... 214 00:15:37,339 --> 00:15:40,331 he would have used it to get off the hook... 215 00:15:40,376 --> 00:15:43,345 for whoever he'd been screwing with. 216 00:15:43,379 --> 00:15:44,903 But what about me? 217 00:15:44,947 --> 00:15:48,439 He would've tried to punch you, but... 218 00:15:48,484 --> 00:15:51,851 then you both would've gone off together and gotten drunk. 219 00:15:55,958 --> 00:15:57,789 You're probably right. 220 00:15:57,826 --> 00:16:00,920 Yeah, I know my men. 221 00:16:02,097 --> 00:16:04,361 What about you and me? 222 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:08,393 Us? We would've been fine. 223 00:16:09,805 --> 00:16:11,033 You sure? 224 00:16:11,073 --> 00:16:13,906 Frank... come here. 225 00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:28,421 See? We're still friends. 226 00:16:37,333 --> 00:16:39,824 Poker, poker, poker! 227 00:16:41,103 --> 00:16:43,469 He can still look. A man can still look. 228 00:16:43,505 --> 00:16:46,599 That was no look. That was an unadulterated ogle. 229 00:16:46,642 --> 00:16:49,110 - OK, I ogled. - At your own wedding, Joe? 230 00:16:49,144 --> 00:16:50,873 That's to you, Ror. 231 00:16:50,913 --> 00:16:53,609 - To be or not to be... - She was worthy of the ogle. 232 00:16:53,649 --> 00:16:55,378 Come on, Joe, at your own wedding. 233 00:16:55,417 --> 00:16:56,679 You were ogling Sarah. 234 00:16:56,719 --> 00:16:57,913 - I was not. - You were. 235 00:16:57,953 --> 00:17:00,251 I was, shamelessly. 236 00:17:00,289 --> 00:17:02,883 We all were. Why do you think they wear white? 237 00:17:02,925 --> 00:17:04,765 So you can imagine them as virginal and pure... 238 00:17:04,793 --> 00:17:06,351 and then fantasize about defiling them. 239 00:17:06,395 --> 00:17:09,228 - You want to defile my wife? - For old times' sake. 240 00:17:09,264 --> 00:17:10,458 We're playing poker here, fellas. 241 00:17:10,499 --> 00:17:13,434 I didn't fantasize about Deborah at your wedding. 242 00:17:13,469 --> 00:17:15,937 - Neither did I. Anyone? - No. 243 00:17:15,971 --> 00:17:19,202 I really love these stimulating intellectual discussions, 244 00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:21,675 but can we please get through a fucking hand? 245 00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:23,735 - Rory! - Just a second. 246 00:17:23,779 --> 00:17:25,679 It's a fucking quarter. 247 00:17:25,714 --> 00:17:28,274 - No. That's not the point. - Here's a quarter. 248 00:17:28,317 --> 00:17:30,683 - Rory's in. - No. No! 249 00:17:30,719 --> 00:17:33,017 - What have you got there? - Four aces. 250 00:17:33,055 --> 00:17:35,023 - Bet or don't bet. - Just a second. 251 00:17:35,057 --> 00:17:36,285 OK, Rory's out. 252 00:17:36,325 --> 00:17:39,021 No, wait a minute! I'm in! Jesus! 253 00:17:40,262 --> 00:17:43,254 You live on the edge. I call. Show your cards. 254 00:17:43,298 --> 00:17:44,890 - Three tens. - I'm slaughtered. 255 00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:46,730 Straight. 256 00:17:46,769 --> 00:17:47,997 I'm out. 257 00:17:48,037 --> 00:17:50,870 Straight, queen high. What do you got, Rory? 258 00:17:50,906 --> 00:17:53,568 - Nothing. - You got to show. 259 00:17:53,609 --> 00:17:54,906 I don't beat a straight. 260 00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:56,672 I called you. You've got to show your cards. 261 00:17:56,712 --> 00:17:59,237 - What's it to you? - It's the rules. 262 00:17:59,281 --> 00:18:01,875 It's a game. 263 00:18:01,917 --> 00:18:04,112 Ante up. 264 00:18:04,153 --> 00:18:06,815 A pair of queens? You stayed in with a pair of fucking queens? 265 00:18:06,855 --> 00:18:08,584 Alas, poor Yorick. 266 00:18:08,624 --> 00:18:10,114 What do you get so damn serious about? 267 00:18:10,159 --> 00:18:11,751 Because it drives me fucking crazy. 268 00:18:11,794 --> 00:18:14,092 - In Vegas... - The Vegas speech! 269 00:18:14,129 --> 00:18:15,619 In Las Vegas, Nevada, 270 00:18:15,664 --> 00:18:17,564 they understand the rhythm of the deal... 271 00:18:17,599 --> 00:18:19,396 and the sanctity of the game. 272 00:18:19,435 --> 00:18:24,338 Deal, Duane. One game - seven-card stud. Pure. 273 00:18:24,373 --> 00:18:26,773 They play it over and over. You feel it, 274 00:18:26,809 --> 00:18:28,970 like the lap of the ocean against the shore. 275 00:18:29,011 --> 00:18:32,105 You sit in silence, study strategies. 276 00:18:32,147 --> 00:18:34,581 None of this banter... Whose dick is bigger than whose? 277 00:18:34,616 --> 00:18:36,174 When's the fucking pizza coming? 278 00:18:36,218 --> 00:18:38,778 When is the fucking pizza coming? 279 00:18:42,458 --> 00:18:43,584 Quarter. 280 00:18:43,625 --> 00:18:46,651 See it, raise it. 281 00:18:48,097 --> 00:18:49,394 See that, raise that. 282 00:18:49,431 --> 00:18:51,092 See that, raise that. 283 00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:53,260 I'll see that quarter and raise you another. 284 00:18:53,302 --> 00:18:54,496 And another. 285 00:18:54,536 --> 00:18:56,299 What the hell have you got there? 286 00:18:56,338 --> 00:18:58,465 Not much, apparently. 287 00:18:58,507 --> 00:19:00,441 Joseph here gets two aces early on... 288 00:19:00,476 --> 00:19:02,034 with nothing underneath to back it up. 289 00:19:02,077 --> 00:19:03,544 Table talk. 290 00:19:03,579 --> 00:19:05,046 Thinks he's going to chase everybody out, 291 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,741 which he does, but I do not balk. 292 00:19:06,782 --> 00:19:10,479 - Table talk. - So, now he's got two pair... 293 00:19:10,519 --> 00:19:12,544 and nothing else. 294 00:19:12,588 --> 00:19:15,250 And me, I started out with a pair here, 295 00:19:15,290 --> 00:19:17,758 which I have now turned into three of a kind... 296 00:19:17,793 --> 00:19:19,158 with this card here. Voila. 297 00:19:19,194 --> 00:19:22,322 - Oh! - You can't do that! 298 00:19:22,364 --> 00:19:24,730 Sure I can, Joe. It's to your advantage. 299 00:19:24,767 --> 00:19:26,792 It is to your advantage. 300 00:19:26,835 --> 00:19:29,497 So, now Joe's looking for a long shot full house... 301 00:19:29,538 --> 00:19:33,201 and I'm looking for a full house or a fourth nine... 302 00:19:33,242 --> 00:19:35,403 of which I noticed none showed up in the deal. 303 00:19:35,444 --> 00:19:37,776 Am I confident? Yes. 304 00:19:37,813 --> 00:19:39,940 Big man. Real mature. 305 00:19:39,982 --> 00:19:42,007 See you, raise you. 306 00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:45,611 Well, I'll just see you. 307 00:19:45,654 --> 00:19:48,817 I perceive a homoerotic subtext here. 308 00:19:48,857 --> 00:19:50,256 Deal, Duane. 309 00:19:51,460 --> 00:19:52,984 Down and dirty. 310 00:19:58,367 --> 00:20:03,100 Bet's to you, Joe, and whatever you bet... 311 00:20:03,138 --> 00:20:04,628 I'm going to bet forty bucks. 312 00:20:04,673 --> 00:20:06,470 You can't do that. 313 00:20:06,508 --> 00:20:08,874 - Sure I can. - No limit. 314 00:20:08,911 --> 00:20:10,776 - But it's my bet. - Then bet. 315 00:20:10,813 --> 00:20:12,178 Then you're just going to raise. 316 00:20:12,214 --> 00:20:13,841 Then you know what I'm going to do. 317 00:20:13,882 --> 00:20:15,315 I don't think he's got his full house. 318 00:20:15,350 --> 00:20:16,544 Think what you want to think, 319 00:20:16,585 --> 00:20:18,917 but there is such a thing as poker etiquette! 320 00:20:18,954 --> 00:20:20,819 No table talk, no betting out of order. 321 00:20:20,856 --> 00:20:22,551 I've been saying this for months. 322 00:20:22,591 --> 00:20:24,058 You'd be shot in Vegas, right? 323 00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:25,616 Yes, Frank would be shot in Vegas. 324 00:20:25,661 --> 00:20:27,856 - It's not Vegas, Joe. - But am I right? 325 00:20:27,896 --> 00:20:29,864 Yes, and God will punish him. You're in or out. 326 00:20:29,898 --> 00:20:31,627 You're out of line. 327 00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,635 - You know the line? - You know the line. 328 00:20:33,669 --> 00:20:36,570 Guys, can you finish the fucking hand? 329 00:20:36,605 --> 00:20:38,869 Fifty cents. 330 00:20:39,908 --> 00:20:42,672 - Forty dollars. - Fuck this. Cash me out. 331 00:20:42,711 --> 00:20:44,474 - Come on, Joe. - Joseph. 332 00:20:44,513 --> 00:20:46,242 Fuck you guys. No, no. 333 00:20:46,281 --> 00:20:48,841 Frank's Mr. Big Stud, flipping cards, betting high. 334 00:20:48,884 --> 00:20:51,375 He called the hand. He won. You happy, Frank? 335 00:20:56,692 --> 00:21:00,150 There are our lovely hosts now. How are you doing? 336 00:21:00,195 --> 00:21:02,163 Does Frank want a wienie? 337 00:21:02,197 --> 00:21:04,358 Frank's been a wienie for a long time. 338 00:21:04,399 --> 00:21:06,424 - Is that mine? - No, it's mine. 339 00:21:06,468 --> 00:21:09,665 - Don't break it, mate. - I won't. See you later. 340 00:21:09,705 --> 00:21:11,468 Bye. 341 00:21:12,641 --> 00:21:13,869 Now, what's this? 342 00:21:13,909 --> 00:21:15,501 I asked you to watch her. 343 00:21:15,544 --> 00:21:17,512 Fuck you. What am I, your slave? 344 00:21:17,546 --> 00:21:20,174 Family feud. Are you guys fighting? 345 00:21:20,215 --> 00:21:23,412 Hi, Frank. Look, honey. Your friend... 346 00:21:23,452 --> 00:21:25,579 She was over by the pool all by herself. 347 00:21:25,621 --> 00:21:27,486 You said you'd watch her. 348 00:21:27,522 --> 00:21:30,320 You guys might want to think about counseling. 349 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:32,827 - Frank. - Bye, Frank. 350 00:21:32,861 --> 00:21:36,024 OK. Sorry about that. 351 00:21:36,064 --> 00:21:37,622 Hello. 352 00:21:37,666 --> 00:21:40,760 Hi, guys. 353 00:21:40,802 --> 00:21:44,067 Hey, hey, hey. 354 00:21:44,106 --> 00:21:47,303 Lauren, we're being harassed by some guy with a camera. 355 00:21:47,342 --> 00:21:49,401 I'm not harassing anybody. 356 00:21:49,444 --> 00:21:51,912 He's not harassing anyone, he says. 357 00:21:51,947 --> 00:21:53,676 What are you doing here? 358 00:21:53,715 --> 00:21:55,649 I'm taking your picture. 359 00:21:55,684 --> 00:21:57,675 He's over here trying to get pictures... 360 00:21:57,719 --> 00:22:00,279 of half-naked girls without any make-up on. 361 00:22:00,322 --> 00:22:02,222 Come on. Be nice. 362 00:22:02,257 --> 00:22:03,918 What's this for? 363 00:22:03,959 --> 00:22:07,759 - It's for... - Personal use? 364 00:22:07,796 --> 00:22:09,457 Is it about something? 365 00:22:09,498 --> 00:22:10,726 It's for personal use. 366 00:22:10,766 --> 00:22:13,326 Are you doing it so you can stare at us later? 367 00:22:13,368 --> 00:22:14,596 It's about the party. 368 00:22:14,636 --> 00:22:16,570 Really? That sounds boring. 369 00:22:16,605 --> 00:22:19,699 - It's also about me. - That would be interesting. 370 00:22:19,741 --> 00:22:21,436 - You think so? - Yeah. 371 00:22:21,476 --> 00:22:24,377 I think it would be interesting. 372 00:22:24,413 --> 00:22:26,745 Give me the camera. I want to do you. 373 00:22:26,782 --> 00:22:29,342 - Why? - Because I like you. 374 00:22:29,384 --> 00:22:31,375 I don't think I want to give it to you. 375 00:22:31,420 --> 00:22:34,218 Oh, no, no, no! 376 00:22:34,256 --> 00:22:36,247 Don't film me. 377 00:22:36,291 --> 00:22:38,657 Now... is it on? 378 00:22:38,694 --> 00:22:40,753 Is this thing on? 379 00:22:40,796 --> 00:22:43,458 - Do you see me? - Yeah. 380 00:22:43,498 --> 00:22:44,988 Then it's on. 381 00:22:45,033 --> 00:22:48,332 OK. Right, right. 382 00:22:48,370 --> 00:22:51,100 Tell us about your life. 383 00:22:51,139 --> 00:22:52,970 This actually wasn't about me. 384 00:22:53,008 --> 00:22:55,306 It's actually about the party out there. 385 00:22:55,344 --> 00:22:57,039 Tell us about your life anyway. 386 00:22:57,079 --> 00:22:58,979 Why don't you film... 387 00:23:00,248 --> 00:23:01,840 All right, I admit it. 388 00:23:01,883 --> 00:23:03,714 I don't have a life. 389 00:23:03,752 --> 00:23:05,242 You're breaking my heart. 390 00:23:05,287 --> 00:23:08,381 Are you one of those cynical people? 391 00:23:08,423 --> 00:23:12,689 No. More like bitter. 392 00:23:12,728 --> 00:23:15,322 Really? Why is that? 393 00:23:15,364 --> 00:23:17,423 I don't know. I'm just... 394 00:23:17,466 --> 00:23:20,060 It must be a girl. It's always a girl. 395 00:23:20,102 --> 00:23:24,061 - Lauren, you're a goddess! - Female prophet. 396 00:23:24,106 --> 00:23:26,939 You're a woman's woman. You know, girl. 397 00:23:26,975 --> 00:23:28,340 - Is it? - What? 398 00:23:28,377 --> 00:23:30,845 - A girl. - No. 399 00:23:30,879 --> 00:23:32,540 I think it is a girl. 400 00:23:32,581 --> 00:23:34,515 We have a girl problem here. 401 00:23:34,549 --> 00:23:36,176 Why is it that girls always think... 402 00:23:36,218 --> 00:23:41,315 Did you love her and then she left you? 403 00:23:41,356 --> 00:23:43,483 I told you there is no problem. 404 00:23:43,525 --> 00:23:45,493 Oh, yeah. I don't believe you. 405 00:23:45,527 --> 00:23:48,985 Hi, sweetie. You making new friends? 406 00:23:49,031 --> 00:23:51,829 Hi. Are you making a movie? 407 00:23:51,867 --> 00:23:54,961 No, we're not. He is. We're just helping out. 408 00:23:55,003 --> 00:23:56,994 Do you have a statement to make? 409 00:23:57,039 --> 00:23:59,132 No, I don't think so. 410 00:23:59,174 --> 00:24:01,506 I think you better keep on filming him. 411 00:24:01,543 --> 00:24:03,568 Make your peace with your public. 412 00:24:03,612 --> 00:24:04,909 Sorry. Bye. 413 00:24:04,946 --> 00:24:06,436 Walk that runway, girl. 414 00:24:06,481 --> 00:24:08,847 Work that vest. There you go. 415 00:24:08,884 --> 00:24:10,442 - Is that her? - Who? 416 00:24:10,485 --> 00:24:12,316 The girl who left you? 417 00:24:12,354 --> 00:24:14,754 There's no girl. Give me the camera. 418 00:24:14,790 --> 00:24:18,055 I think that's somebody who hasn't been returning my calls. 419 00:24:18,093 --> 00:24:19,355 Because I'm mad at you. 420 00:24:19,394 --> 00:24:20,952 - Why? - You piss me off. 421 00:24:20,996 --> 00:24:23,624 What do you mean, I piss you off? 422 00:24:23,665 --> 00:24:26,793 You got to watch out for that unresolved resentment. 423 00:24:26,835 --> 00:24:29,804 It can cause diseases. I'm sure you've heard that. 424 00:24:29,838 --> 00:24:31,430 Have you thought of therapy? 425 00:24:31,473 --> 00:24:33,100 I'm in therapy twice a week. 426 00:24:33,141 --> 00:24:34,472 - You're kidding me. - No. 427 00:24:34,509 --> 00:24:35,806 What do you talk about? 428 00:24:35,844 --> 00:24:38,210 All we talk about is you - it's weird - 429 00:24:38,246 --> 00:24:41,147 and what a dick you are but how much I like you anyway. 430 00:24:41,183 --> 00:24:42,707 That makes me feel a lot better. 431 00:24:42,751 --> 00:24:44,742 - Whose camera is that? - It's mine. 432 00:24:44,786 --> 00:24:46,185 That's not your camera. 433 00:24:46,221 --> 00:24:48,655 You can't afford that because you're such a loser. 434 00:24:48,690 --> 00:24:50,681 Why don't you eat me, Joe? 435 00:24:50,725 --> 00:24:52,283 OK. 436 00:24:52,327 --> 00:24:54,852 - Oh, no. Go away. - What do you want? 437 00:24:54,896 --> 00:24:57,421 - I hate this. - Take that thing off my face. 438 00:24:57,466 --> 00:24:59,730 I just want to have a conversation. 439 00:24:59,768 --> 00:25:01,497 You want me to say something quotable? 440 00:25:01,536 --> 00:25:05,165 Yeah, why don't you say something quotable? 441 00:25:05,207 --> 00:25:08,665 I'll give you more later. Over and out. 442 00:25:08,710 --> 00:25:12,305 Nigel, come on. See you, Nigel. 443 00:25:12,347 --> 00:25:13,712 Good-bye, Frank. 444 00:25:13,782 --> 00:25:14,874 Hello. 445 00:25:14,916 --> 00:25:17,282 Oh, no. No, please, don't. 446 00:25:17,319 --> 00:25:18,513 What's the matter? 447 00:25:18,553 --> 00:25:20,783 I don't like the way I look. 448 00:25:20,822 --> 00:25:22,722 I sound like a man on those things. 449 00:25:22,757 --> 00:25:24,224 You don't sound like a man. 450 00:25:24,259 --> 00:25:25,556 I do, I do. 451 00:25:25,594 --> 00:25:27,562 Wait till you listen to it. 452 00:25:27,596 --> 00:25:30,156 "She sounds just like me". 453 00:25:30,198 --> 00:25:31,825 - Nice. - Yeah. 454 00:25:31,867 --> 00:25:35,735 Before, you sounded like your normal, velvet-voiced self. 455 00:25:39,174 --> 00:25:41,836 Is this why you came here? 456 00:25:41,877 --> 00:25:44,072 No, I came to see you. 457 00:25:44,112 --> 00:25:47,013 Then take that thing away from your face. 458 00:25:49,651 --> 00:25:52,017 Yes, Frank, what can I do for you? 459 00:25:52,053 --> 00:25:54,021 Why don't you... 460 00:25:54,055 --> 00:25:56,683 tell me all about me? 461 00:25:56,725 --> 00:25:59,819 Really? The stuff you want to hear... 462 00:25:59,861 --> 00:26:01,829 or the stuff you don't want to hear? 463 00:26:01,863 --> 00:26:03,387 Just tell me everything. 464 00:26:03,431 --> 00:26:04,728 I don't know everything. 465 00:26:04,766 --> 00:26:08,793 Then tell me what you know. 466 00:26:08,837 --> 00:26:11,135 Starting from when? 467 00:26:11,173 --> 00:26:12,435 From the beginning. 468 00:26:12,474 --> 00:26:14,374 I don't know you from the beginning, honey. 469 00:26:14,409 --> 00:26:16,843 I only know you from the middle. 470 00:26:16,878 --> 00:26:19,210 Then how about from there? 471 00:26:21,783 --> 00:26:23,614 You're being so weird. 472 00:26:25,253 --> 00:26:28,780 Why don't you just say whatever pops into your mind? 473 00:26:28,823 --> 00:26:30,484 The first thing. Whatever. 474 00:26:30,525 --> 00:26:33,585 This is... Do I really have to do this? 475 00:26:33,628 --> 00:26:36,222 I don't think so. Why? 476 00:26:36,264 --> 00:26:38,755 Because I asked you as a favor to me. 477 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,893 See, that's it. 478 00:26:40,936 --> 00:26:42,836 You want me to tell you all about you. 479 00:26:42,871 --> 00:26:45,203 I don't see you since the wedding, 480 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,834 then you show up out of no place and expect me... 481 00:26:47,876 --> 00:26:50,868 to tell you all about you as a favor to you. 482 00:26:50,912 --> 00:26:52,937 I think that just about wraps it up. 483 00:26:52,981 --> 00:26:55,745 - You think so? - I do. Give me that. 484 00:26:58,453 --> 00:27:01,684 Tell me something about you. 485 00:27:01,723 --> 00:27:04,089 Tell me something about something. 486 00:27:04,125 --> 00:27:05,353 OK. 487 00:27:05,393 --> 00:27:08,021 OK? God, just a minute. 488 00:27:08,063 --> 00:27:10,657 How about... 489 00:27:10,699 --> 00:27:12,758 How about the first time I saw you? 490 00:27:12,801 --> 00:27:14,530 I already know that. 491 00:27:14,569 --> 00:27:18,335 No, you don't. I mean before we met. 492 00:27:18,373 --> 00:27:20,273 The first, first time. 493 00:27:22,444 --> 00:27:25,004 There was a first, first time? 494 00:27:27,649 --> 00:27:30,243 OK, tell me about that. 495 00:27:30,285 --> 00:27:31,479 OK. 496 00:27:34,222 --> 00:27:37,020 When... 497 00:27:37,058 --> 00:27:39,026 - What? - OK. 498 00:27:39,060 --> 00:27:41,187 I was... 499 00:27:41,229 --> 00:27:44,198 I was about to take my last test... 500 00:27:44,232 --> 00:27:46,860 my sophomore year... 501 00:27:46,901 --> 00:27:48,334 and... 502 00:27:50,205 --> 00:27:53,368 It was in English Medieval Renaissance. 503 00:27:55,143 --> 00:27:58,135 I was just about to go into the building... 504 00:27:58,179 --> 00:27:59,942 and I saw you. 505 00:28:02,550 --> 00:28:04,541 It was raining out that day... 506 00:28:04,586 --> 00:28:06,713 and the sky was dark... 507 00:28:06,755 --> 00:28:09,121 and you were standing there... 508 00:28:09,157 --> 00:28:12,888 in this long gray raincoat. 509 00:28:12,927 --> 00:28:16,158 You had this green umbrella. 510 00:28:16,197 --> 00:28:19,223 And, I don't know, it was just strange. 511 00:28:19,267 --> 00:28:21,235 Everything was dark, and there you were... 512 00:28:21,269 --> 00:28:22,930 with this green umbrella. 513 00:28:22,971 --> 00:28:24,802 And... 514 00:28:26,808 --> 00:28:29,106 And then the sky was starting to break, 515 00:28:29,144 --> 00:28:33,774 and just as the light burst out of the sky... 516 00:28:33,815 --> 00:28:35,578 you did the neatest thing... 517 00:28:35,617 --> 00:28:37,676 You twirled your umbrella a little bit... 518 00:28:37,719 --> 00:28:39,209 and caught the light. 519 00:28:39,254 --> 00:28:41,085 You were the most beautiful thing... 520 00:28:41,122 --> 00:28:43,454 I'd ever seen in my life. 521 00:28:49,097 --> 00:28:52,533 And then... 522 00:28:52,567 --> 00:28:54,558 then Joseph came out of the building... 523 00:28:54,602 --> 00:28:57,594 and he... 524 00:28:57,639 --> 00:29:02,406 He went clomping up to you like Gene Kelly in... 525 00:29:02,444 --> 00:29:03,934 "Singin' in the Rain". 526 00:29:03,978 --> 00:29:06,446 He was clomping through the puddles... 527 00:29:06,481 --> 00:29:09,507 and that's when... 528 00:29:12,754 --> 00:29:14,745 I don't remember that. 529 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,622 That's because we didn't know each other then. 530 00:29:24,232 --> 00:29:25,699 It was really funny. 531 00:29:25,734 --> 00:29:28,396 The next semester when I came back... 532 00:29:28,436 --> 00:29:31,530 and Joseph was my roommate... 533 00:29:31,573 --> 00:29:33,336 and you were his girlfriend. 534 00:29:51,593 --> 00:29:53,185 - Frank? - Frank-o! 535 00:29:53,228 --> 00:29:54,718 I'm in the kitchen! 536 00:29:58,133 --> 00:30:00,465 I brought some strawberries, Frank. 537 00:30:00,502 --> 00:30:01,969 Good. 538 00:30:02,003 --> 00:30:04,096 Where's the booze? 539 00:30:04,139 --> 00:30:06,164 - Hi, Duane. - Where's the booze? 540 00:30:06,207 --> 00:30:07,367 You know where the booze is. 541 00:30:07,409 --> 00:30:10,242 - Hi, Frank. - Hi. How are you? 542 00:30:10,278 --> 00:30:12,803 - You look like shit, Frank. - Thank you, Deborah. 543 00:30:12,847 --> 00:30:15,407 You're welcome. Where's your date? 544 00:30:15,450 --> 00:30:16,815 She's not here yet. 545 00:30:16,851 --> 00:30:19,376 Told you he wouldn't have a date. 546 00:30:19,421 --> 00:30:21,321 Who is she? 547 00:30:21,356 --> 00:30:23,187 Ran into Marianne. 548 00:30:23,224 --> 00:30:25,021 Cover girl? She's coming here? 549 00:30:25,059 --> 00:30:26,219 Yeah. 550 00:30:26,261 --> 00:30:29,924 Like us to leave you alone for a few minutes, Duane? 551 00:30:29,964 --> 00:30:32,091 I haven't seen her in a long time, that's all. 552 00:30:32,133 --> 00:30:34,067 Look at his face. 553 00:30:37,972 --> 00:30:42,636 Is she your girlfriend again, Frank? 554 00:30:42,677 --> 00:30:45,703 No, she's not my girlfriend. She's a date. 555 00:31:22,417 --> 00:31:24,408 I don't know. 556 00:31:24,452 --> 00:31:28,479 I've had sex before - more than once - 557 00:31:28,523 --> 00:31:30,684 and I think I've figured out why I do it. 558 00:31:30,725 --> 00:31:32,215 Go ahead, Joe. 559 00:31:32,260 --> 00:31:34,922 I remember going through the birth canal. 560 00:31:34,963 --> 00:31:36,658 - Oh, God. - No, I'm... 561 00:31:36,698 --> 00:31:39,223 My skin was really sensitive back then... 562 00:31:39,267 --> 00:31:40,632 Want some wine? 563 00:31:40,668 --> 00:31:42,966 It was like I was one big, giant penis. 564 00:31:43,004 --> 00:31:44,596 Nothing's changed, Joseph. 565 00:31:44,639 --> 00:31:46,869 No, no. Pay attention, please. 566 00:31:46,908 --> 00:31:49,468 There I was in the birth canal... 567 00:31:49,511 --> 00:31:53,845 and my adrenaline was really pumping... 568 00:31:53,882 --> 00:31:56,874 and these dark, wet, powerful muscles... 569 00:31:56,918 --> 00:31:58,112 were shunting me... 570 00:31:58,152 --> 00:32:01,121 and elongating my head into a banana shape... 571 00:32:01,155 --> 00:32:03,282 which is a very odd sensation. 572 00:32:03,324 --> 00:32:06,122 And imagine the kind of consciousness you have... 573 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,288 when you're getting oxygen, but you're not breathing. 574 00:32:09,330 --> 00:32:11,321 You're just alive. 575 00:32:13,635 --> 00:32:15,660 So now that I'm a big boy... 576 00:32:15,703 --> 00:32:20,231 I find myself going back to that place again and again... 577 00:32:20,275 --> 00:32:24,439 because it's only really just before I blow my wad... 578 00:32:24,479 --> 00:32:25,707 Dear God. 579 00:32:25,747 --> 00:32:30,013 ...that I ever experience what it was like being born. 580 00:32:30,051 --> 00:32:33,384 - That is so amazing. - Isn't it? 581 00:32:33,421 --> 00:32:35,548 It's incredible you remember being born. 582 00:32:35,590 --> 00:32:38,650 One of my boyfriends is a licensed rebirther. 583 00:32:38,693 --> 00:32:39,921 Really? 584 00:32:39,961 --> 00:32:42,452 He's trying to regress me back to the womb, 585 00:32:42,497 --> 00:32:44,931 but it's been really difficult for me. 586 00:32:44,966 --> 00:32:47,025 Why? 587 00:32:48,570 --> 00:32:52,199 I think it's because infants are so helpless... 588 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,676 and I need to be in control. 589 00:32:59,047 --> 00:33:01,277 So, Marianne, 590 00:33:01,316 --> 00:33:03,682 how many boyfriends do you have, anyway? 591 00:33:03,718 --> 00:33:04,878 Honey, please, that's... 592 00:33:04,919 --> 00:33:06,580 How many men do I have sex with? 593 00:33:06,621 --> 00:33:09,021 Yeah, I'm just curious. 594 00:33:09,057 --> 00:33:11,617 More than one. 595 00:33:11,659 --> 00:33:14,560 - Congratulations, Frank. - Thanks, Sarah. 596 00:33:14,596 --> 00:33:16,996 Girl fight. 597 00:33:17,031 --> 00:33:21,559 Is that two or a few... 598 00:33:21,603 --> 00:33:25,937 or the Los Angeles Raiders? 599 00:33:25,974 --> 00:33:28,841 Honey, what are you doing? 600 00:33:28,876 --> 00:33:31,174 What are you doing? 601 00:33:33,681 --> 00:33:35,649 Could I have a cigarette, please? 602 00:33:35,683 --> 00:33:38,345 I'm sorry if I threaten you in some way. 603 00:33:38,386 --> 00:33:40,650 I happen to like men. 604 00:33:40,688 --> 00:33:46,558 And what is it about them, exactly, that you like? 605 00:33:47,829 --> 00:33:50,229 Different things about different men. 606 00:33:50,264 --> 00:33:53,131 I bet. 607 00:33:55,069 --> 00:33:58,470 Well, I think that's very commendable... 608 00:33:58,506 --> 00:34:00,235 and rare, in my experience. 609 00:34:00,274 --> 00:34:02,469 Shut up, Duane. If it's so commendable, 610 00:34:02,510 --> 00:34:04,205 then how come you don't like women? 611 00:34:04,245 --> 00:34:05,576 Good point. 612 00:34:05,613 --> 00:34:08,411 I like women... Hairless, obsequious women. 613 00:34:08,449 --> 00:34:10,542 You're so deep. It's true. 614 00:34:10,585 --> 00:34:13,520 He used to make all his girlfriends shave their twats. 615 00:34:13,554 --> 00:34:16,250 You're a sick man, Duane. 616 00:34:16,290 --> 00:34:18,758 I don't like hair. I like hairless girls. 617 00:34:18,793 --> 00:34:24,561 Girls? Like a little diaper rash in their creases, Duane? 618 00:34:24,599 --> 00:34:27,159 I think you would like men a lot less... 619 00:34:27,201 --> 00:34:28,930 if you were married to one. 620 00:34:28,970 --> 00:34:31,234 I don't know. What about Frank? 621 00:34:31,272 --> 00:34:32,671 He's not bad. 622 00:34:32,707 --> 00:34:37,872 I like Frank. I'm just not the marrying type. 623 00:34:40,948 --> 00:34:45,715 Poor Frank. Are you disappointed? 624 00:34:47,321 --> 00:34:50,017 Yeah, I'm devastated. 625 00:34:50,058 --> 00:34:54,392 You're so sweet. Why aren't you married? 626 00:34:56,497 --> 00:34:59,193 I guess I haven't met the right woman yet. 627 00:34:59,233 --> 00:35:01,724 What kind would that be? 628 00:35:05,273 --> 00:35:08,174 Like... you. 629 00:35:08,209 --> 00:35:09,733 One like you. 630 00:35:09,777 --> 00:35:12,007 You're so cute. 631 00:35:12,046 --> 00:35:13,479 He is so cute. 632 00:35:13,514 --> 00:35:16,039 Honey, I'm about to cloud up... 633 00:35:16,084 --> 00:35:18,985 and rain all over you. 634 00:35:19,020 --> 00:35:24,788 If you like me so much, why don't you... 635 00:35:24,826 --> 00:35:26,919 bring me flowers? 636 00:35:26,961 --> 00:35:31,057 Roses? Would you like roses? 637 00:35:31,099 --> 00:35:34,557 Which grow profusely in the... 638 00:35:34,602 --> 00:35:36,263 ordure of romance. 639 00:35:36,304 --> 00:35:38,966 What the hell's going on here? 640 00:35:41,476 --> 00:35:45,936 I'm trying to tell your wife that I'm in love with her. 641 00:35:48,783 --> 00:35:51,013 Frank's trying to seduce me. 642 00:35:51,052 --> 00:35:55,250 You're trying to seduce me, aren't you, Frank? 643 00:35:56,924 --> 00:35:59,449 I love you, Sarah. 644 00:35:59,494 --> 00:36:01,758 What the fuck are you doing? 645 00:36:01,796 --> 00:36:03,457 What the fuck is going on here? 646 00:36:03,498 --> 00:36:05,056 Are you nuts? That's my wife! 647 00:36:05,099 --> 00:36:06,760 What's your fucking problem? 648 00:36:06,801 --> 00:36:08,792 Go, Frank. 649 00:36:08,836 --> 00:36:10,804 Go! 650 00:36:10,838 --> 00:36:12,396 Thanks so much for dinner. 651 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,034 It was so nice seeing you all. 652 00:36:15,076 --> 00:36:16,907 Take it easy, Marianne. 653 00:36:39,167 --> 00:36:40,998 Want a cigarette? 654 00:36:44,205 --> 00:36:45,763 Thanks. 655 00:37:03,391 --> 00:37:04,790 Is it me? 656 00:37:06,627 --> 00:37:09,061 No. Sometimes being married... 657 00:37:09,096 --> 00:37:11,064 is like having dog shit on your shoe... 658 00:37:11,098 --> 00:37:14,090 and nothing to scrape it off with. 659 00:37:18,339 --> 00:37:20,398 Want to play some ball tomorrow? 660 00:37:21,943 --> 00:37:23,934 You want more humiliation? 661 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:29,441 I'll pick you up tomorrow at 6:00, all right? 662 00:37:29,483 --> 00:37:31,974 How's your marriage counseling going? 663 00:37:33,287 --> 00:37:35,881 It's good. It's all right. 664 00:37:35,923 --> 00:37:38,084 You like your counselor? 665 00:37:38,125 --> 00:37:40,559 Yeah, she's all right. 666 00:37:45,233 --> 00:37:47,463 You know what she said to me the other day? 667 00:37:47,501 --> 00:37:50,902 She said I was full of inner rage. 668 00:37:50,938 --> 00:37:52,701 You believe that shit? 669 00:37:52,740 --> 00:37:56,767 I should have popped her right then. Bitch. 670 00:37:56,811 --> 00:37:58,335 Duane! 671 00:37:59,580 --> 00:38:02,879 You begin to hate the sound of your own name. 672 00:38:02,917 --> 00:38:06,284 - Honey, come on. - OK. 673 00:38:08,089 --> 00:38:09,852 You'll be all right, man. 674 00:38:09,891 --> 00:38:12,189 - See you later. - I'll see you tomorrow. 675 00:38:36,717 --> 00:38:38,912 I want to drive. 676 00:38:38,953 --> 00:38:41,114 Why? 677 00:38:41,155 --> 00:38:45,353 I just think it'll be a good idea. 678 00:38:45,393 --> 00:38:48,726 I'm sorry, honey. I didn't... 679 00:38:49,864 --> 00:38:51,627 You piss me off. 680 00:39:09,150 --> 00:39:12,415 And, Daddy, she didn't deserve it 681 00:39:12,453 --> 00:39:16,150 All the pain and the hurt 682 00:39:16,190 --> 00:39:19,956 And I could never hate you for it 683 00:39:19,994 --> 00:39:23,725 'Cause I learned about love when she said 684 00:39:23,764 --> 00:39:27,598 She said, "Honey, your daddy is dead to me" 685 00:39:27,635 --> 00:39:31,366 "But to you, your daddy he'll always be" 686 00:39:31,405 --> 00:39:35,398 "And although he made me cry my last tear" 687 00:39:35,443 --> 00:39:38,810 "To you, he should always be dear" 688 00:39:38,846 --> 00:39:40,108 And Mother 689 00:39:40,147 --> 00:39:43,446 You're the kindest woman I've ever seen 690 00:39:43,484 --> 00:39:46,419 A love like yours is rarely seen 691 00:39:46,454 --> 00:39:48,445 And although you were hurt 692 00:39:48,489 --> 00:39:50,582 You held your head high 693 00:39:50,624 --> 00:39:52,592 And thanks to you 694 00:39:52,626 --> 00:39:57,620 My daddy's alive 695 00:40:01,068 --> 00:40:03,969 - All right. - Thank you. 696 00:40:04,005 --> 00:40:05,973 Thank you, thank you. 697 00:40:06,007 --> 00:40:08,475 - I wrote that myself. - I could tell. 698 00:40:08,509 --> 00:40:10,238 Did you like it? 699 00:40:11,278 --> 00:40:13,803 - It was very human. - Thank you. 700 00:40:13,848 --> 00:40:16,715 - Let's play poker. - All right. 701 00:40:16,751 --> 00:40:19,481 - Got any eights? - Nope. Go fish. 702 00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,853 - Come on. - We're just being cute. 703 00:40:22,890 --> 00:40:25,825 We'll be serious. 704 00:40:25,860 --> 00:40:29,523 You've got the old maid, don't you? 705 00:40:29,563 --> 00:40:32,794 Why am I always the last one to hear about these things? 706 00:40:32,833 --> 00:40:34,130 I thought we were friends. 707 00:40:34,168 --> 00:40:35,692 We are friends. That's why we didn't tell you. 708 00:40:35,736 --> 00:40:38,864 We didn't want to shatter your fragile fantasy world. 709 00:40:38,906 --> 00:40:40,840 Did they hurt each other? 710 00:40:40,875 --> 00:40:42,206 You are so dear. 711 00:40:42,243 --> 00:40:45,610 They didn't hurt each other, because I was Mr. Peacemaker. 712 00:40:45,646 --> 00:40:48,410 I wanted to pop the son of a bitch myself. 713 00:40:48,449 --> 00:40:51,009 See, that really upsets me. 714 00:40:51,052 --> 00:40:53,680 You can't look at her cards. You're still in the hand. 715 00:40:53,721 --> 00:40:55,655 Sorry. Hold on to that ace. 716 00:40:55,689 --> 00:40:57,418 Great. Ruin my bluff. 717 00:40:57,458 --> 00:40:59,392 What's a bluff? 718 00:40:59,427 --> 00:41:01,759 When you lie about your hand and chase everyone else out. 719 00:41:01,796 --> 00:41:02,990 Gotcha. 720 00:41:03,030 --> 00:41:05,021 How do you know I wasn't bluffing about her ace? 721 00:41:05,066 --> 00:41:07,330 Because you can't bluff someone else's hand. 722 00:41:07,368 --> 00:41:09,131 Why not, Neil? 723 00:41:09,170 --> 00:41:10,728 Because you can't. 724 00:41:10,771 --> 00:41:12,466 Does it confuse you? 725 00:41:12,506 --> 00:41:14,667 No, it doesn't confuse me. 726 00:41:14,708 --> 00:41:16,437 And my name's Leo, not Neil. 727 00:41:16,477 --> 00:41:18,877 Why are you angry? 728 00:41:18,913 --> 00:41:20,437 I'm not angry. 729 00:41:20,481 --> 00:41:23,041 Bet big, girl. He's angry and confused. 730 00:41:23,084 --> 00:41:24,813 I bet all my chips. 731 00:41:24,852 --> 00:41:27,218 You can't bet out of turn. 732 00:41:27,254 --> 00:41:30,951 When it's my turn, the chips will be there. 733 00:41:30,991 --> 00:41:34,427 I'm sorry, but this Frank thing is really upsetting me. 734 00:41:34,462 --> 00:41:37,090 - You're so sensitive. - Come sit between us. 735 00:41:37,131 --> 00:41:39,759 A little drama's good for a marriage. 736 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,461 But they're best friends. 737 00:41:41,502 --> 00:41:43,299 Frank is her friend. 738 00:41:43,337 --> 00:41:46,101 We're friends. Where does that leave me? 739 00:41:46,140 --> 00:41:47,300 Who's Frank? 740 00:41:47,341 --> 00:41:49,901 That guy shooting down our tops at the barbecue. 741 00:41:49,944 --> 00:41:51,571 He was kind of cute. 742 00:41:51,612 --> 00:41:53,580 It's your bet, sweetheart. 743 00:41:53,614 --> 00:41:57,675 OK, big cock. Here's my bet. 744 00:41:59,286 --> 00:42:01,186 I think that Frank guy needs to get laid. 745 00:42:01,222 --> 00:42:03,417 Precisely. He's chosen his best friend's wife... 746 00:42:03,457 --> 00:42:05,482 as the object of his clumsy affections. 747 00:42:05,526 --> 00:42:06,993 That's wonderful, Nigel. 748 00:42:07,027 --> 00:42:08,255 What? 749 00:42:08,295 --> 00:42:09,990 These girls don't need to hear about that, man. 750 00:42:10,030 --> 00:42:13,329 These girls are my trusted employees. 751 00:42:13,367 --> 00:42:16,165 They won't breathe a word. They can keep a secret. 752 00:42:16,203 --> 00:42:17,329 Promise. 753 00:42:17,371 --> 00:42:19,339 Cross my heart, hope to die. 754 00:42:22,676 --> 00:42:24,667 Anyway, it sounds like amateur dinner theater... 755 00:42:24,712 --> 00:42:25,872 Frank being Frank. 756 00:42:25,913 --> 00:42:27,540 Now, that confuses me. 757 00:42:27,581 --> 00:42:30,675 Am I supposed to be angry at Frank? 758 00:42:30,718 --> 00:42:33,346 He's a slime hound with warts on his dick. 759 00:42:33,387 --> 00:42:36,220 - So you guys are friends. - Exactly. 760 00:42:36,257 --> 00:42:38,589 You should do that guy Frank, Lauren. 761 00:42:38,626 --> 00:42:40,059 I don't know. 762 00:42:40,094 --> 00:42:42,324 I checked him out. He looked kind of small. 763 00:42:42,363 --> 00:42:45,161 I need a big stiff one, and I don't mean a cocktail! 764 00:42:45,199 --> 00:42:47,724 Oh, my God! I think I just grew a penis! 765 00:42:47,768 --> 00:42:50,498 Poker will do it to you every time! 766 00:42:50,538 --> 00:42:52,768 It's raining sperm in here! Oh, my face! 767 00:42:52,806 --> 00:42:56,435 - Cross your legs! - Oh, yes! 768 00:42:59,013 --> 00:43:01,243 So you're really angry at him. 769 00:43:01,282 --> 00:43:03,648 I don't want to waste my time on it. 770 00:43:03,684 --> 00:43:04,884 I don't want to talk about it. 771 00:43:04,919 --> 00:43:06,614 A man who gleefully admits... 772 00:43:06,654 --> 00:43:08,519 having had sex with his sister... 773 00:43:08,556 --> 00:43:10,649 is now making moral judgments. 774 00:43:10,691 --> 00:43:13,683 - What? - You had sex with your sister? 775 00:43:13,727 --> 00:43:17,219 She was five. I was four. It was consensual. 776 00:43:17,264 --> 00:43:20,791 That's what allows me to make these higher moral judgments. 777 00:43:20,834 --> 00:43:23,701 - I'm evolved. - I see. 778 00:43:23,737 --> 00:43:25,602 I think I'm mad at him. 779 00:43:25,639 --> 00:43:29,131 Congratulations, Rory. You've picked an emotion. 780 00:43:29,176 --> 00:43:33,078 I have this weird, crazy idea. Let's play poker. 781 00:43:33,113 --> 00:43:37,880 No, no, no. What do you think? 782 00:43:37,918 --> 00:43:40,716 I think that you are chronically indecisive, 783 00:43:40,754 --> 00:43:42,153 Duane's overreacting, 784 00:43:42,189 --> 00:43:44,316 Frank is lonely and sad, 785 00:43:44,358 --> 00:43:46,417 and I am getting impatient. 786 00:43:46,460 --> 00:43:48,894 You have a lot of hostility in you. 787 00:43:48,929 --> 00:43:52,387 I've also got two pairs towards a full house. 788 00:43:52,433 --> 00:43:55,402 The thing is - and I'll leave it at this - 789 00:43:55,436 --> 00:43:58,735 is that you guys can't know, because you're not married. 790 00:43:58,772 --> 00:44:00,296 I'm married, Duane. 791 00:44:00,341 --> 00:44:02,741 That's stretching the definition a bit, isn't it? 792 00:44:02,776 --> 00:44:05,244 I believe I should be insulted. 793 00:44:05,279 --> 00:44:07,110 Shall I be angry with you now? 794 00:44:07,147 --> 00:44:09,945 Dog fight. 795 00:44:09,984 --> 00:44:11,713 I'm secure in my marriage. 796 00:44:11,752 --> 00:44:13,845 Whatever, Nigel. 797 00:44:13,887 --> 00:44:15,320 Nobody wake him up. 798 00:44:15,356 --> 00:44:18,018 What foreign creature crawled up your rectum? 799 00:44:18,058 --> 00:44:20,356 A kiss is just a kiss. 800 00:44:20,394 --> 00:44:22,362 To demonstrate... 801 00:44:24,665 --> 00:44:26,326 See? No harm done. 802 00:44:27,901 --> 00:44:31,598 Don't you ever, ever do that again, Nigel, 803 00:44:31,639 --> 00:44:33,607 unless I ask for it, or I'm hard up. 804 00:44:33,641 --> 00:44:35,541 That hurt. 805 00:44:35,576 --> 00:44:39,205 Good. I'm glad. Good. 806 00:44:39,246 --> 00:44:40,736 My point is... 807 00:44:40,781 --> 00:44:42,578 What if I told Amy about this? 808 00:44:42,616 --> 00:44:45,278 Exactly. Tell her, and we'll endure. 809 00:44:45,319 --> 00:44:49,551 They'll endure if we all love one another. 810 00:44:49,590 --> 00:44:52,184 Nigel, you're so full of insight and charm. 811 00:44:52,226 --> 00:44:55,457 You really are. No, I'm serious. 812 00:45:01,568 --> 00:45:06,232 This game is boring. Nothing happens. 813 00:45:06,273 --> 00:45:08,104 Do you want to hear another song? 814 00:45:08,142 --> 00:45:09,837 I got eight more that I wrote. 815 00:45:09,877 --> 00:45:12,072 Let her play. It's nice. 816 00:45:15,082 --> 00:45:16,743 Once again 817 00:45:16,784 --> 00:45:20,447 I'm without my man 818 00:45:20,487 --> 00:45:25,322 My lover and my friend 819 00:45:32,433 --> 00:45:34,424 Mine are hardly the sort of novels... 820 00:45:34,468 --> 00:45:38,131 today's filmmakers are racing to adapt. 821 00:45:38,172 --> 00:45:41,608 They're not seething with raw sensuality... 822 00:45:41,642 --> 00:45:43,269 nor do they contain... 823 00:45:43,310 --> 00:45:48,213 periodic spasms of orgiastic bloodshed. 824 00:45:48,248 --> 00:45:50,182 Also, one rarely sees... 825 00:45:50,217 --> 00:45:53,983 characters as old as mine in American films, 826 00:45:54,021 --> 00:45:56,012 and when they do pop up... 827 00:45:56,056 --> 00:45:58,718 it's only for a scene or two. 828 00:45:58,759 --> 00:46:02,092 They're not allowed to be the whole story... 829 00:46:02,129 --> 00:46:04,063 as they are in my books. 830 00:46:04,098 --> 00:46:06,623 Though, now that I think of it, 831 00:46:06,667 --> 00:46:10,034 I was approached perhaps 20 years ago... 832 00:46:10,070 --> 00:46:13,938 by some people who wanted to film my third book, 833 00:46:13,974 --> 00:46:18,775 which was called "A Vulgar Superfluity". 834 00:46:18,812 --> 00:46:23,749 Although they suggested I try to think of another title. 835 00:46:23,784 --> 00:46:25,115 They wanted to cast... 836 00:46:25,152 --> 00:46:27,916 some American actress whom I'd never heard of, 837 00:46:27,955 --> 00:46:32,051 though she was apparently quite popular at the time. 838 00:46:32,092 --> 00:46:34,219 They showed me one of her films... 839 00:46:34,261 --> 00:46:36,593 and I thought, "Oh, dear." 840 00:46:36,630 --> 00:46:40,498 "She's quite immensely unsuitable". 841 00:46:40,534 --> 00:46:42,866 Her name escapes me now. 842 00:46:42,903 --> 00:46:46,532 Amy, dear, what was the name of that actress... 843 00:46:46,573 --> 00:46:49,235 they were so keen to have play Daphne? 844 00:46:49,276 --> 00:46:51,005 Raquel Welch. 845 00:46:51,044 --> 00:46:53,774 Yes, that's it! 846 00:46:53,814 --> 00:46:55,907 Oh, dear, yes. 847 00:46:55,949 --> 00:46:57,644 That is one boring lady in there. 848 00:46:57,684 --> 00:46:59,311 She's like some kind of hypnotist. 849 00:46:59,353 --> 00:47:01,878 You think she's bad, try reading one of her books. 850 00:47:01,922 --> 00:47:03,362 Though don't mix them with alcohol... 851 00:47:03,390 --> 00:47:05,290 as people have been known to slip into comas. 852 00:47:05,325 --> 00:47:07,259 What's Amy's dad like? Is he as bad? 853 00:47:07,294 --> 00:47:10,627 Her dad's great. He ran for his life years ago. 854 00:47:10,664 --> 00:47:12,632 She married this aging closet case... 855 00:47:12,666 --> 00:47:14,224 who's probably in London right now, 856 00:47:14,268 --> 00:47:16,031 working his way through the male ensemble... 857 00:47:16,069 --> 00:47:17,195 of "Starlight Express". 858 00:47:17,237 --> 00:47:20,229 - Fucking Nigel. - He's fine. 859 00:47:20,274 --> 00:47:22,265 He has to sit there, sneering at her... 860 00:47:22,309 --> 00:47:26,040 like she's in any danger of forgetting he hates her guts. 861 00:47:26,079 --> 00:47:27,706 He's just jealous. 862 00:47:27,748 --> 00:47:31,115 Deeply. Not that he'd ever admit it. 863 00:47:31,151 --> 00:47:32,982 And there's the money thing. 864 00:47:33,020 --> 00:47:35,580 Her bailing us out last year. 865 00:47:35,622 --> 00:47:38,557 I think it's really going fine. 866 00:47:38,592 --> 00:47:40,787 Sounds like you and Mom don't get along too well. 867 00:47:40,828 --> 00:47:44,559 No. She thinks of me as some disgusting habit... 868 00:47:44,598 --> 00:47:46,862 Amy will outgrow someday, like thumb-sucking. 869 00:47:46,900 --> 00:47:48,834 Her expectations of me have gotten so low... 870 00:47:48,869 --> 00:47:50,496 that it's actually something of a challenge... 871 00:47:50,537 --> 00:47:53,700 to disappoint her, but I do my best. 872 00:47:53,740 --> 00:47:55,037 This is really strong. 873 00:47:55,075 --> 00:47:56,542 I've been saving it for her visit. 874 00:47:56,577 --> 00:47:58,545 How much longer is she sticking around for? 875 00:47:58,579 --> 00:48:01,776 Ten days. I have a strange premonition... 876 00:48:01,815 --> 00:48:03,783 she'll decide to shorten her visit. 877 00:48:03,817 --> 00:48:05,182 Really? 878 00:48:05,219 --> 00:48:07,244 Nigel, are you in there? 879 00:48:07,287 --> 00:48:09,755 No, don't come in! 880 00:48:09,790 --> 00:48:11,223 Your guest just showed up. 881 00:48:11,258 --> 00:48:12,725 I suppose you think you're funny? 882 00:48:12,759 --> 00:48:16,058 I'm stoned. I think everything's funny. 883 00:48:16,096 --> 00:48:18,929 - Thank you for that. - Who's here? 884 00:48:18,966 --> 00:48:22,527 You should enjoy this. He invited Frank. 885 00:48:22,569 --> 00:48:25,037 - Frank is here? - What'd you do that for? 886 00:48:25,072 --> 00:48:26,232 He's my friend, too. 887 00:48:26,273 --> 00:48:28,173 You can't expect me to shun him for your sake. 888 00:48:28,208 --> 00:48:29,402 I hate you. 889 00:48:29,443 --> 00:48:31,206 I think you two should kiss and make up. 890 00:48:31,245 --> 00:48:32,644 Or beat the crap out of each other. 891 00:48:32,679 --> 00:48:34,146 That would be interesting, too. 892 00:48:34,181 --> 00:48:36,945 You're so clever, Nigel. You really are. 893 00:48:37,017 --> 00:48:39,577 It's very nice to meet you, Frank. 894 00:48:39,620 --> 00:48:41,053 Nice to meet you as well. 895 00:48:41,088 --> 00:48:43,613 I really enjoy your books. 896 00:48:43,657 --> 00:48:46,626 How kind of you to say so. 897 00:48:46,660 --> 00:48:48,560 This is Pamela. 898 00:48:48,595 --> 00:48:50,358 Hi. Nice meeting you. 899 00:48:50,397 --> 00:48:53,457 How do you do? Are you a friend of Amy's? 900 00:48:53,500 --> 00:48:54,694 Who's Amy? 901 00:48:54,735 --> 00:48:56,635 No. Actually, I'm a friend of Nigel's. 902 00:48:56,670 --> 00:48:57,967 We play poker together. 903 00:48:58,005 --> 00:49:01,270 Oh, I see. 904 00:49:01,308 --> 00:49:04,402 Help yourself to some tea... 905 00:49:04,444 --> 00:49:06,810 or there's champagne, if you'd prefer. 906 00:49:06,847 --> 00:49:08,212 Thank you. 907 00:49:08,248 --> 00:49:09,715 Thank you. 908 00:49:09,750 --> 00:49:11,149 Hi, I'm Pamela. 909 00:49:11,184 --> 00:49:12,412 Deborah. 910 00:49:12,452 --> 00:49:14,420 Hi. Nice meeting you. 911 00:49:14,454 --> 00:49:17,321 - Hi, Pamela. I'm Duane. - Hello, Duane. 912 00:49:17,357 --> 00:49:18,984 - Nice to meet you. - Thank you. 913 00:49:19,026 --> 00:49:21,153 What nice little sandwiches. 914 00:49:21,194 --> 00:49:23,958 Champagne crisis. 915 00:49:23,997 --> 00:49:26,397 - I'll get it. - No, allow me. 916 00:49:26,433 --> 00:49:27,627 Really! 917 00:49:27,668 --> 00:49:31,866 - Hi, I'm Athena. - Lauren. Great scarf. 918 00:49:31,905 --> 00:49:33,133 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 919 00:49:33,173 --> 00:49:35,835 This is Josh. 920 00:49:35,876 --> 00:49:38,470 Hi. 921 00:49:38,512 --> 00:49:43,506 So, are you working on a new book? 922 00:49:43,550 --> 00:49:46,917 Yes. I'm perhaps halfway through. 923 00:49:46,954 --> 00:49:48,421 - Great. - What's it about? 924 00:49:48,455 --> 00:49:50,821 It's a minor superstition of mine... 925 00:49:50,857 --> 00:49:54,850 never to discuss my books until I finish writing them, 926 00:49:54,895 --> 00:49:57,295 not even with my husband. 927 00:49:57,331 --> 00:50:01,495 It has at times been a source of some friction between us. 928 00:50:01,535 --> 00:50:02,866 I wouldn't have thought... 929 00:50:02,903 --> 00:50:05,736 there was any friction at all between you and Sydney. 930 00:50:05,772 --> 00:50:08,764 Perhaps you don't know us as well as you suppose. 931 00:50:08,809 --> 00:50:10,208 Frank, can I talk to you in the kitchen? 932 00:50:10,243 --> 00:50:11,443 There's nothing to talk about. 933 00:50:11,478 --> 00:50:12,911 No, there's a lot to talk about. 934 00:50:12,946 --> 00:50:14,504 What the hell's going on here? 935 00:50:14,548 --> 00:50:17,346 - I want to talk to you. - Were you two an item? 936 00:50:17,384 --> 00:50:19,011 I would like to... 937 00:50:19,052 --> 00:50:20,883 I want you to control yourself. 938 00:50:20,921 --> 00:50:22,786 I'm not the one who can't control himself! 939 00:50:22,823 --> 00:50:24,051 Keep your voice down. 940 00:50:24,091 --> 00:50:25,422 Did you know he was going be here? 941 00:50:25,459 --> 00:50:26,892 Is that why we had to come to this thing? 942 00:50:26,927 --> 00:50:28,417 If I wanted to see him, 943 00:50:28,462 --> 00:50:30,362 this is how I would arrange it? 944 00:50:30,397 --> 00:50:33,127 Excuse me. Would you mind going somewhere else? 945 00:50:33,166 --> 00:50:34,394 I was here first. 946 00:50:34,434 --> 00:50:36,402 He's following you around with a big fucking hard-on, 947 00:50:36,436 --> 00:50:37,698 and I'm not supposed to say anything? 948 00:50:37,738 --> 00:50:41,003 So, Pamela, what sort of work do you do? 949 00:50:41,041 --> 00:50:42,633 You think he came here for the tea? 950 00:50:42,676 --> 00:50:43,836 No. He's here because you're here. 951 00:50:43,877 --> 00:50:46,038 That's the only reason, and everyone knows it... 952 00:50:46,079 --> 00:50:47,979 and you know it, and it's embarrassing. 953 00:50:48,015 --> 00:50:49,949 I don't like it. You think I'm enjoying... 954 00:50:49,983 --> 00:50:51,507 I do think you enjoy this! 955 00:50:51,551 --> 00:50:54,019 You're the center of attention. Everyone's looking at you. 956 00:50:54,054 --> 00:50:57,217 Fuck you, Joe! I did not ask for this. 957 00:50:57,257 --> 00:50:59,248 Neither did I, which is why we're leaving. 958 00:50:59,292 --> 00:51:01,226 No, fuck you! You don't tell me what to do! 959 00:51:01,261 --> 00:51:02,694 If you want to go, you go! 960 00:51:02,729 --> 00:51:04,026 You'd like that, wouldn't you? 961 00:51:04,064 --> 00:51:05,429 At the moment, I would love it. 962 00:51:05,465 --> 00:51:07,023 I would fucking love it. 963 00:51:16,910 --> 00:51:18,878 I am sorry about that. 964 00:51:18,912 --> 00:51:20,311 I'm really sorry. 965 00:51:20,347 --> 00:51:22,178 It's hardly your fault, dear. 966 00:51:22,215 --> 00:51:26,447 It's just Nigel showing us all how Nigel he can be. 967 00:51:26,486 --> 00:51:30,217 And what exactly do you mean by that? 968 00:51:30,257 --> 00:51:33,920 I do not enjoy speaking to you when you are drunk. 969 00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:37,157 Thank you. That's very useful information. 970 00:51:37,197 --> 00:51:39,688 Shut up, Nigel. 971 00:51:42,669 --> 00:51:43,829 He's going? 972 00:51:43,870 --> 00:51:47,772 Son of a bi... He left with my date! 973 00:51:47,808 --> 00:51:49,275 What? 974 00:51:50,777 --> 00:51:52,972 You people are fucking sick! 975 00:51:53,013 --> 00:51:55,709 Oh, dear. 976 00:51:55,749 --> 00:51:57,307 Thanks for having us. 977 00:51:57,350 --> 00:51:58,874 Thank you for coming. 978 00:51:58,919 --> 00:52:03,151 - Hey! Fuck! - Josh! 979 00:52:03,190 --> 00:52:04,953 Are these people really your friends? 980 00:52:04,991 --> 00:52:06,151 Because they're not normal. 981 00:52:06,193 --> 00:52:07,558 You shouldn't be so sensitive. 982 00:52:07,594 --> 00:52:09,425 I'm so sorry. 983 00:52:09,463 --> 00:52:12,125 Darling, if you would like my advice... 984 00:52:12,165 --> 00:52:13,962 No, we would not like your advice. 985 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,934 Not with that farce you call a marriage. 986 00:52:15,969 --> 00:52:17,368 Stop it! Nigel! 987 00:52:17,404 --> 00:52:20,532 I will not stay in this house one minute longer! 988 00:52:20,574 --> 00:52:23,042 I'm timing you. 989 00:52:23,076 --> 00:52:25,704 59... 58... 990 00:52:25,746 --> 00:52:27,373 Shut up! 991 00:52:27,414 --> 00:52:29,348 You are a nasty boy! 992 00:52:29,382 --> 00:52:33,341 55... 54... 53... 993 00:52:34,654 --> 00:52:36,212 Sally, pick up the phone. 994 00:52:36,256 --> 00:52:37,814 Sally. 995 00:52:37,858 --> 00:52:39,883 Stop it, Nigel! 996 00:52:39,926 --> 00:52:42,520 Caroline, I'm a very nasty boy. 997 00:52:42,562 --> 00:52:44,086 I want a divorce! 998 00:52:44,131 --> 00:52:45,860 Frank? 999 00:52:47,534 --> 00:52:49,593 You know things are getting pretty bad... 1000 00:52:49,636 --> 00:52:51,797 when we have the best marriage in the room. 1001 00:53:08,321 --> 00:53:12,155 I hope you don't think you're going to sleep with me. 1002 00:53:12,192 --> 00:53:13,819 What? 1003 00:53:13,860 --> 00:53:17,728 I hope you don't think you're going to sleep with me. 1004 00:53:17,764 --> 00:53:20,733 Actually, it hadn't crossed my mind. 1005 00:53:20,767 --> 00:53:22,928 Oh, really? 1006 00:53:22,969 --> 00:53:25,199 - I'm happily married. - I know. 1007 00:53:25,238 --> 00:53:28,036 That son of a bitch. He's such a fucking... 1008 00:53:28,074 --> 00:53:29,939 I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking like this. 1009 00:53:29,976 --> 00:53:32,240 We're all sorry. You're sorry, right, Frank? 1010 00:53:32,279 --> 00:53:34,304 I'm going to take you home first, OK? 1011 00:53:34,347 --> 00:53:36,144 OK, thank you. 1012 00:53:36,183 --> 00:53:37,411 Sarah... 1013 00:53:37,450 --> 00:53:39,441 No, Frank, please don't start. 1014 00:53:39,486 --> 00:53:41,613 - I just... - Forget it. Please? 1015 00:53:44,991 --> 00:53:47,459 So, what kind of work do you do? 1016 00:53:47,494 --> 00:53:50,986 Me? I'm a body double for Demi Moore. 1017 00:53:51,031 --> 00:53:52,293 Really? That's really... 1018 00:53:52,332 --> 00:53:55,165 She believes me. Oh, my God. 1019 00:53:55,202 --> 00:53:56,931 You didn't have to come with us. 1020 00:53:56,970 --> 00:53:58,801 There's no reason for this attitude. 1021 00:53:58,839 --> 00:54:00,568 Look, honey, I came with him. 1022 00:54:00,607 --> 00:54:03,599 Everybody else was sloshed, stoned, or psychotic... 1023 00:54:03,643 --> 00:54:05,611 and a cab in this town is 50 bucks. 1024 00:54:05,645 --> 00:54:08,341 Yada, yada, yada. God, she goes on. 1025 00:54:08,381 --> 00:54:10,815 All right. He'll take me home. Great. 1026 00:54:10,851 --> 00:54:12,182 Sarah, can I just... 1027 00:54:12,219 --> 00:54:15,416 Frank, no! I'm OK. I'm really OK. 1028 00:54:15,455 --> 00:54:17,685 I do have control over my life. 1029 00:54:17,724 --> 00:54:19,521 It might not seem that way, but I do. 1030 00:54:19,559 --> 00:54:20,856 I am not stupid. 1031 00:54:20,894 --> 00:54:23,419 I know Joseph's an asshole, but I married him. 1032 00:54:23,463 --> 00:54:24,794 He's my asshole. 1033 00:54:26,766 --> 00:54:28,563 See that house? 1034 00:54:28,602 --> 00:54:30,433 I designed the landscaping. 1035 00:54:30,470 --> 00:54:32,267 It's nice. 1036 00:54:32,305 --> 00:54:34,273 It's better than nice. 1037 00:54:34,307 --> 00:54:36,400 The dopes that live there don't deserve it. 1038 00:54:36,443 --> 00:54:37,808 That's the rub, 1039 00:54:37,844 --> 00:54:40,540 that only rich people can really afford... 1040 00:54:40,580 --> 00:54:42,207 property that's worth landscaping... 1041 00:54:42,249 --> 00:54:43,876 but then they don't even care about it. 1042 00:54:43,917 --> 00:54:46,545 It's like upkeep to them, maintenance, 1043 00:54:46,586 --> 00:54:49,953 like I'm changing shingles on their roof. 1044 00:54:49,990 --> 00:54:52,618 So you're an artist, then. 1045 00:54:52,659 --> 00:54:54,627 Sometimes. 1046 00:54:54,661 --> 00:54:56,629 And the rest of the time? 1047 00:54:56,663 --> 00:55:00,258 You mean, what do I do for money? 1048 00:55:00,300 --> 00:55:03,292 I design landscaping. 1049 00:55:09,843 --> 00:55:13,438 I like that green mushroom tree. 1050 00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:16,881 - It's an umbrella. - You're kidding. 1051 00:55:16,917 --> 00:55:19,442 I did it for my wife. 1052 00:55:19,486 --> 00:55:21,078 Does she know? 1053 00:55:21,121 --> 00:55:23,851 I drove her by it once. 1054 00:55:23,890 --> 00:55:26,120 Like an inside joke, huh? 1055 00:55:26,159 --> 00:55:27,490 Sort of. 1056 00:55:30,830 --> 00:55:33,731 Did you ever think that maybe you made a mistake? 1057 00:55:33,767 --> 00:55:35,394 What are you talking about? 1058 00:55:35,435 --> 00:55:37,596 Marrying him. 1059 00:55:37,637 --> 00:55:39,605 How can you say that? I loved him. 1060 00:55:39,639 --> 00:55:41,436 "Loved". That's exactly what I'm saying. 1061 00:55:41,474 --> 00:55:42,873 That's past tense, you see? 1062 00:55:42,909 --> 00:55:44,376 Frank, stop. 1063 00:55:44,411 --> 00:55:45,673 What... 1064 00:55:45,712 --> 00:55:49,842 - Sarah, I love you now. - Hello! 1065 00:55:49,883 --> 00:55:52,784 Frank, you got to understand. 1066 00:55:52,819 --> 00:55:54,912 We're just friends. That's all we are. 1067 00:55:54,955 --> 00:55:57,617 Come on. We've always been more than friends. 1068 00:55:57,657 --> 00:55:59,352 You know that as well as I do. 1069 00:55:59,392 --> 00:56:01,758 And I want you now, OK? 1070 00:56:01,795 --> 00:56:04,355 You want me now because now I'm taken. 1071 00:56:04,397 --> 00:56:06,365 You only ever want what's taken. 1072 00:56:06,399 --> 00:56:07,832 That is such bullshit! 1073 00:56:07,867 --> 00:56:09,926 No, it isn't. That's a pattern with you. 1074 00:56:09,970 --> 00:56:11,904 You waited until after we were married... 1075 00:56:11,938 --> 00:56:13,701 I waited till you let me! 1076 00:56:13,740 --> 00:56:15,002 - I let you? - Yes! 1077 00:56:15,041 --> 00:56:16,440 How? 1078 00:56:18,979 --> 00:56:22,881 The day before the wedding, when you kissed me. 1079 00:56:22,916 --> 00:56:24,679 You kissed? 1080 00:56:24,718 --> 00:56:27,551 Does the bimbo with your husband know... 1081 00:56:27,587 --> 00:56:28,884 - Shut up! - OK. 1082 00:56:28,922 --> 00:56:31,254 Frank, that was just a kiss. 1083 00:56:37,497 --> 00:56:39,362 I'm only here... 1084 00:56:39,399 --> 00:56:42,232 because my best friend is trying to fuck my wife. 1085 00:56:42,268 --> 00:56:44,566 Maybe he's in love with her. 1086 00:56:44,604 --> 00:56:46,834 He doesn't really even know her. 1087 00:56:48,641 --> 00:56:50,108 Why not? You're best friends. 1088 00:56:50,143 --> 00:56:52,134 They must see each other a lot. 1089 00:56:52,178 --> 00:56:53,611 Yeah. 1090 00:56:54,914 --> 00:56:57,644 Then he does know her. 1091 00:56:57,684 --> 00:56:59,174 No. 1092 00:57:02,922 --> 00:57:04,651 She married me. 1093 00:57:12,232 --> 00:57:13,460 Oh, God. 1094 00:57:22,809 --> 00:57:24,970 She's probably with him right now. 1095 00:57:25,011 --> 00:57:28,572 No. She's just not with me. 1096 00:57:28,615 --> 00:57:31,482 That's right. I'm with you. 1097 00:57:40,693 --> 00:57:43,662 You really want me to pull over and drop you off? 1098 00:57:43,696 --> 00:57:45,186 Is that what you want? 1099 00:57:49,202 --> 00:57:51,102 You people are unbelievable. 1100 00:57:51,137 --> 00:57:53,469 You just do this to entertain yourselves? 1101 00:57:53,506 --> 00:57:56,964 Don't answer that. It's a rhetorical question. 1102 00:58:24,904 --> 00:58:26,872 Let's go to my bedroom. 1103 00:58:32,712 --> 00:58:35,340 Let's go to my bedroom. 1104 00:58:35,381 --> 00:58:36,848 You know what? 1105 00:58:36,883 --> 00:58:39,317 You're sweet, but this is... 1106 00:58:39,352 --> 00:58:41,081 You're fucked up. 1107 00:58:41,121 --> 00:58:45,217 No, I'm not. I'm 24, and I don't give a shit. 1108 00:58:45,258 --> 00:58:48,250 None of you mean anything to me. 1109 00:58:48,294 --> 00:58:50,023 That's sad. 1110 00:58:50,063 --> 00:58:52,054 You would know. 1111 00:58:54,367 --> 00:58:56,858 I got to go. I'm sorry. 1112 01:00:21,354 --> 01:00:23,982 Your husband is a really hot property. 1113 01:00:24,023 --> 01:00:26,890 Have you always known that the big guy here... 1114 01:00:26,926 --> 01:00:28,257 was going to make it so big? 1115 01:00:28,294 --> 01:00:29,556 Of course. 1116 01:00:29,596 --> 01:00:31,791 It was just a matter of time before Hollywood realized... 1117 01:00:31,831 --> 01:00:34,459 that adolescent wish fulfillment was the way to go. 1118 01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:35,728 Thanks, sweetie. 1119 01:00:35,768 --> 01:00:37,292 I'm in the agent training program. 1120 01:00:37,337 --> 01:00:39,202 I heard he got half a mil. 1121 01:00:39,239 --> 01:00:43,141 - For a first spec script? - Not bad. 1122 01:00:43,176 --> 01:00:45,041 Is it Duane or Wayne? 1123 01:00:45,078 --> 01:00:48,138 Who the fuck are these people? 1124 01:00:48,181 --> 01:00:49,773 I think she's on TV. 1125 01:00:49,816 --> 01:00:51,283 Oh, yeah. 1126 01:00:51,317 --> 01:00:53,342 I never slept with a girl that's been on TV. 1127 01:00:53,386 --> 01:00:57,413 That girl on "Jeopardy!" What was her name? 1128 01:00:57,457 --> 01:01:00,017 That was after we broke up. 1129 01:01:00,059 --> 01:01:02,118 - I'm Sid. - Amy. 1130 01:01:02,161 --> 01:01:03,958 Hi, Amy. How you doing? 1131 01:01:03,997 --> 01:01:06,625 I just... 1132 01:01:06,666 --> 01:01:09,032 You know how when you're at a party... 1133 01:01:09,068 --> 01:01:11,662 you go from pocket to pocket of people? 1134 01:01:11,704 --> 01:01:14,036 You don't know these people. 1135 01:01:14,073 --> 01:01:15,472 So I'm just hanging around, 1136 01:01:15,508 --> 01:01:17,135 waiting for a hole in the conversation. 1137 01:01:17,176 --> 01:01:19,406 And you had to listen to how I met my husband. 1138 01:01:19,445 --> 01:01:22,642 No. I'm glad to hear about how you met your ex-husband. 1139 01:01:33,893 --> 01:01:35,793 We should get the guys together and go to Vegas. 1140 01:01:35,828 --> 01:01:38,353 - I'm serious. - You'd want Duane to pay. 1141 01:01:38,398 --> 01:01:39,660 He would spring for it. 1142 01:01:39,699 --> 01:01:41,223 You just use your friends. 1143 01:01:41,267 --> 01:01:43,326 Don't you feel bad about using your friends like that? 1144 01:01:43,369 --> 01:01:45,564 We would all be able to go. We'd have a great time. 1145 01:01:45,605 --> 01:01:47,163 Duane's made out of money now. 1146 01:01:47,206 --> 01:01:50,369 Let's just sap him for everything he's worth? 1147 01:01:50,410 --> 01:01:52,469 The girl's a great part. 1148 01:01:52,512 --> 01:01:54,412 Yeah, I actually wrote it... 1149 01:01:54,447 --> 01:01:58,042 as sort of a cross between my wife and Betty Rubble. 1150 01:01:58,084 --> 01:02:00,177 - Really? - No, it's true. 1151 01:02:00,219 --> 01:02:03,620 I want to ask you something about what you were saying. 1152 01:02:03,656 --> 01:02:05,851 Is that like... Is that ancient history... 1153 01:02:05,892 --> 01:02:07,792 or is that recent history? 1154 01:02:07,827 --> 01:02:09,988 - Do you need help? - No, no. 1155 01:02:10,029 --> 01:02:12,827 I'm actually... Ancient enough. 1156 01:02:12,865 --> 01:02:16,096 Do I have to mingle, or are you coming back? 1157 01:02:19,706 --> 01:02:22,573 You're really tan. 1158 01:02:22,608 --> 01:02:24,439 You go to the beach a lot? 1159 01:02:24,477 --> 01:02:26,274 Yeah, I do. 1160 01:02:26,312 --> 01:02:30,578 Out of curiosity, do you shave or wax your legs? 1161 01:02:30,616 --> 01:02:31,981 I wax. 1162 01:02:32,018 --> 01:02:34,612 - Really? - Yes. 1163 01:02:34,654 --> 01:02:37,316 Bikini line? 1164 01:02:37,357 --> 01:02:40,349 I wax my bikini line, yes. 1165 01:02:40,393 --> 01:02:42,987 Did you ever think, what the fuck... 1166 01:02:43,029 --> 01:02:46,692 and just wax it all off? 1167 01:02:46,733 --> 01:02:48,394 Actually, you know what? 1168 01:02:48,434 --> 01:02:51,733 That would be painful. 1169 01:02:51,771 --> 01:02:55,764 But I do shave the actual area to get that kind of... 1170 01:02:55,808 --> 01:02:59,175 smooth effect. You know what I mean? 1171 01:02:59,212 --> 01:03:02,079 Does that make you uncomfortable? 1172 01:03:02,115 --> 01:03:04,208 No. 1173 01:03:04,250 --> 01:03:07,481 It's kind of an odd question, really. 1174 01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:09,044 What makes the script so good... 1175 01:03:09,088 --> 01:03:11,921 is that it's the woman's movie, yet it's still manly. 1176 01:03:11,958 --> 01:03:13,823 I'm a little new at this script analysis stuff, 1177 01:03:13,860 --> 01:03:15,418 but I think your husband has something that... 1178 01:03:15,461 --> 01:03:16,792 Could you excuse me for a minute? 1179 01:03:16,829 --> 01:03:18,626 Sure. I'll talk to you later. 1180 01:03:18,664 --> 01:03:20,791 Haven't they locked you up yet? 1181 01:03:20,833 --> 01:03:23,529 It's good to see you, too, Deborah. 1182 01:03:23,569 --> 01:03:26,504 Frank, I realize that crashing parties... 1183 01:03:26,539 --> 01:03:28,871 is the only thing you have for a social life, 1184 01:03:28,908 --> 01:03:30,102 but not tonight. 1185 01:03:30,143 --> 01:03:32,441 I came to congratulate my friend... 1186 01:03:32,478 --> 01:03:35,970 and to give him this. Is that OK with you? 1187 01:03:36,015 --> 01:03:38,575 It's a nice bottle. Thanks, Frank. 1188 01:03:38,618 --> 01:03:41,519 I'm sure Duane will appreciate it. 1189 01:03:41,554 --> 01:03:42,851 Drive safely now, OK? 1190 01:03:42,889 --> 01:03:44,550 Did I do something to you? 1191 01:03:44,590 --> 01:03:48,321 Get some help, Frank. She's married. 1192 01:03:48,361 --> 01:03:50,591 Have a nice party, Deborah. 1193 01:03:54,133 --> 01:03:55,725 Bye, Frank. 1194 01:03:59,405 --> 01:04:01,100 What's the film about? What's it really about? 1195 01:04:01,140 --> 01:04:02,539 What genre does it take place in? 1196 01:04:02,575 --> 01:04:05,442 What, the spine? Like one sentence? 1197 01:04:05,478 --> 01:04:08,140 "Boy meets girl". I don't give a shit about that. 1198 01:04:08,181 --> 01:04:09,842 Fuck "Boy meets girl" Fuck "Motorcycle movie". 1199 01:04:09,882 --> 01:04:12,112 No. What is really being said? 1200 01:04:12,151 --> 01:04:13,584 That's what you were talking about. 1201 01:04:13,619 --> 01:04:15,951 The whole idea, man, is subversion - 1202 01:04:15,988 --> 01:04:18,218 you want subversion on a massive level. 1203 01:04:18,257 --> 01:04:20,122 You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts... 1204 01:04:20,159 --> 01:04:22,218 ever written in the history of Hollywood is? 1205 01:04:22,261 --> 01:04:23,956 - What? - "Top Gun". 1206 01:04:23,996 --> 01:04:26,658 - Come on. - "Top Gun" is fucking great. 1207 01:04:26,699 --> 01:04:29,964 What is "Top Gun"? A story about a bunch of fighter pilots? 1208 01:04:30,002 --> 01:04:33,028 It's about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around. 1209 01:04:33,072 --> 01:04:35,438 It is a story about a man's struggle... 1210 01:04:35,475 --> 01:04:37,670 with his own homosexuality. 1211 01:04:37,710 --> 01:04:40,144 I'm serious. That is what "Top Gun" is about. 1212 01:04:40,179 --> 01:04:42,079 You've got Maverick, all right? 1213 01:04:42,114 --> 01:04:43,274 He's on the edge, man. 1214 01:04:43,316 --> 01:04:45,181 He's right on the fucking line. 1215 01:04:45,218 --> 01:04:47,709 And you got Iceman and all his crew. 1216 01:04:47,753 --> 01:04:51,018 They're gay. They represent the gay man. 1217 01:04:51,057 --> 01:04:53,355 And they're saying, "Go the gay way". 1218 01:04:53,392 --> 01:04:54,916 He could go both ways. 1219 01:04:54,961 --> 01:04:57,862 - What about Kelly McGillis? - She's heterosexuality. 1220 01:04:57,897 --> 01:05:00,195 She's saying, "No, no, no. Go the normal way." 1221 01:05:00,233 --> 01:05:01,928 "Play by the rules. Go the normal way". 1222 01:05:01,968 --> 01:05:03,595 And they're saying, "No. Go the gay way. 1223 01:05:03,636 --> 01:05:05,331 "Be the gay way. Go for the gay way". 1224 01:05:05,371 --> 01:05:07,737 That is what's going on throughout that whole movie. 1225 01:05:07,773 --> 01:05:10,071 What is this party? Who are these people? 1226 01:05:10,109 --> 01:05:12,543 They make me sick. What is that? 1227 01:05:12,578 --> 01:05:16,674 Who are you? What is he wearing? 1228 01:05:16,716 --> 01:05:21,983 It's some dance jumpsuit, freakish little gaucho... 1229 01:05:22,021 --> 01:05:26,117 "Let's go to Spain and dance with our arms over our heads". 1230 01:05:26,158 --> 01:05:27,591 He goes to her house, right? 1231 01:05:27,627 --> 01:05:29,094 It looks like they're going to have sex. 1232 01:05:29,128 --> 01:05:31,096 They're sitting back. He's taking a shower. 1233 01:05:31,130 --> 01:05:32,256 They don't have sex. 1234 01:05:32,298 --> 01:05:33,629 He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. 1235 01:05:33,666 --> 01:05:35,634 She's like, "What the fuck is going on here?" 1236 01:05:35,668 --> 01:05:39,434 Next scene you see her, she's in the elevator. 1237 01:05:39,472 --> 01:05:40,734 She is dressed like a guy! 1238 01:05:40,773 --> 01:05:43,708 She's got the cap on, the aviator glasses, 1239 01:05:43,743 --> 01:05:46,507 she's wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. 1240 01:05:46,546 --> 01:05:48,446 She says, "This is how I'm going to get this guy." 1241 01:05:48,481 --> 01:05:49,880 "This guy's going towards the gay way. 1242 01:05:49,916 --> 01:05:52,180 "So I gotta bring him back from the gay way. 1243 01:05:52,218 --> 01:05:53,913 "So I'll do that through subterfuge. 1244 01:05:53,953 --> 01:05:55,443 "I'll dress like a man". 1245 01:05:55,488 --> 01:05:59,447 That is how she approaches it. 1246 01:05:59,492 --> 01:06:03,428 Let me ask you - if I may digress for two seconds here... 1247 01:06:03,462 --> 01:06:05,430 I met this girl Amy here. 1248 01:06:05,464 --> 01:06:07,261 She's floating around here and everything. 1249 01:06:07,300 --> 01:06:09,268 She just got divorced, right? 1250 01:06:09,302 --> 01:06:12,430 I saw you on... What was it? 1251 01:06:12,471 --> 01:06:13,836 I was asking my friend. 1252 01:06:13,873 --> 01:06:15,465 I can't remember. 1253 01:06:15,508 --> 01:06:17,169 You know... 1254 01:06:17,209 --> 01:06:19,575 There's just a little... 1255 01:06:24,884 --> 01:06:26,374 I'm... I'm lucky. 1256 01:06:26,419 --> 01:06:27,977 We're going to drink a pot of coffee... 1257 01:06:28,020 --> 01:06:29,988 and then drive to Vegas. You want to go? 1258 01:06:30,022 --> 01:06:32,684 - What's her problem? - She doesn't want to go. 1259 01:06:32,725 --> 01:06:34,852 She doesn't like to gamble. 1260 01:06:53,613 --> 01:06:55,774 - Hang on. - Sorry. 1261 01:07:09,695 --> 01:07:11,663 We need to have a little talk. 1262 01:07:11,697 --> 01:07:14,723 I know, but this really isn't the best time. 1263 01:07:14,767 --> 01:07:16,667 Is this inconvenient for you? 1264 01:07:16,702 --> 01:07:18,033 I could leave if you'd like. 1265 01:07:18,070 --> 01:07:21,972 - I'll call you. - Should I come back? OK. 1266 01:07:22,008 --> 01:07:23,270 What are you doing? 1267 01:07:23,309 --> 01:07:25,834 You answer me one thing. Right now. 1268 01:07:25,878 --> 01:07:28,176 Maybe it was my imagination, or maybe I dreamt it, 1269 01:07:28,214 --> 01:07:29,772 but was it not exactly six days ago... 1270 01:07:29,815 --> 01:07:31,214 that we made the most incredible love... 1271 01:07:31,250 --> 01:07:32,740 and you told me that you loved me? 1272 01:07:32,785 --> 01:07:34,275 Was it or not? 1273 01:07:35,554 --> 01:07:36,851 Sarah, how's it going? 1274 01:07:36,889 --> 01:07:38,049 - Hi. - You having a good time? 1275 01:07:38,090 --> 01:07:39,751 Oh, yeah. 1276 01:07:39,792 --> 01:07:42,124 Can I double-check something with you? 1277 01:07:42,161 --> 01:07:45,096 Do you see anything in my teeth? 1278 01:07:46,565 --> 01:07:48,465 No. 1279 01:07:48,501 --> 01:07:51,561 I didn't, either. Nice schmooze-fest, huh? 1280 01:07:53,372 --> 01:07:54,703 Is everything OK? 1281 01:07:54,740 --> 01:07:57,971 Great. I'm just hanging. 1282 01:07:58,010 --> 01:08:01,070 Oh, OK. 1283 01:08:01,113 --> 01:08:02,740 - All right. - Yeah. 1284 01:08:02,782 --> 01:08:06,115 - See you later. - OK. Bye, Rory. 1285 01:08:06,152 --> 01:08:08,211 Bye. 1286 01:08:09,922 --> 01:08:12,015 You have to go now. 1287 01:08:12,058 --> 01:08:15,289 Did it happen or not? 1288 01:08:15,327 --> 01:08:16,988 It happened. 1289 01:08:17,029 --> 01:08:18,291 Well, thank God, 1290 01:08:18,330 --> 01:08:21,265 because I was starting to think I went insane. 1291 01:08:21,300 --> 01:08:24,326 I told you I need some time. 1292 01:08:25,738 --> 01:08:29,174 Sarah, it doesn't take six days to pack your bags. 1293 01:08:29,208 --> 01:08:30,903 It does if you keep unpacking them. 1294 01:08:30,943 --> 01:08:32,274 It's right through there. 1295 01:08:34,547 --> 01:08:35,741 You waiting? 1296 01:08:35,781 --> 01:08:37,942 Waiting? Yeah! 1297 01:08:37,983 --> 01:08:41,316 And after that, I'm going back into the party... 1298 01:08:41,353 --> 01:08:44,789 and I'm not going to talk to you again tonight. 1299 01:08:44,824 --> 01:08:47,793 OK. 1300 01:08:47,827 --> 01:08:49,317 Do I know you? 1301 01:08:50,996 --> 01:08:52,486 No. 1302 01:08:54,100 --> 01:08:55,431 OK. 1303 01:09:00,706 --> 01:09:02,469 Yeah. 1304 01:09:02,508 --> 01:09:04,601 Yeah, I'm still here. 1305 01:09:04,643 --> 01:09:08,636 Jesus Christ! God! 1306 01:09:10,516 --> 01:09:13,485 There's a man with a beard coming through the window! 1307 01:09:13,519 --> 01:09:18,183 Jesus! Jesus Christ! No, I'm... 1308 01:09:18,224 --> 01:09:20,658 Sarah, I'm not leaving without you. 1309 01:09:20,693 --> 01:09:22,786 Dennis Hopper just climbed through the window. 1310 01:09:22,828 --> 01:09:26,093 - You can't keep doing this! - Doing what? 1311 01:09:26,132 --> 01:09:28,532 Hiding the fact that your marriage is a piece of paper... 1312 01:09:28,567 --> 01:09:30,398 and you and I are flesh and blood! 1313 01:09:30,436 --> 01:09:31,903 This is something out of "Fatal Attraction". 1314 01:09:31,937 --> 01:09:34,030 No. There's this weird woman in the bathroom. 1315 01:09:34,073 --> 01:09:36,041 Excuse me, but could you take that outside? 1316 01:09:36,075 --> 01:09:38,134 I'm waiting to go to the bathroom. 1317 01:09:38,177 --> 01:09:41,510 - Could you please get out? - Out! Come here. 1318 01:09:41,547 --> 01:09:43,640 Thank you very, very much! 1319 01:09:43,682 --> 01:09:45,877 Look, come here. 1320 01:09:45,918 --> 01:09:47,886 What the hell's the matter with you? 1321 01:09:47,920 --> 01:09:51,219 Yeah, OK, so we slept together. 1322 01:09:51,257 --> 01:09:54,420 It was great, but that doesn't mean... 1323 01:09:54,460 --> 01:09:57,224 it wasn't a huge mistake, you know? 1324 01:09:57,263 --> 01:09:58,787 That's what you call it? A mistake? 1325 01:09:58,831 --> 01:10:01,265 Look at us right now. We're in Duane's bathroom, 1326 01:10:01,300 --> 01:10:03,200 at a party you weren't invited to. 1327 01:10:03,235 --> 01:10:05,135 I think this qualifies as a mistake. 1328 01:10:05,171 --> 01:10:06,297 Then why did you sleep with me? 1329 01:10:06,338 --> 01:10:08,806 Why did you tell me about the green umbrella? 1330 01:10:08,841 --> 01:10:10,001 You asked me about it. 1331 01:10:10,042 --> 01:10:12,374 No, you forced me to. And you want to know what? 1332 01:10:12,411 --> 01:10:14,538 We aren't talking about your umbrella or Joe's umbrella. 1333 01:10:14,580 --> 01:10:16,241 We're talking about my fucking umbrella. 1334 01:10:16,282 --> 01:10:19,945 And it wasn't even my umbrella. It belonged to my friend. 1335 01:10:19,985 --> 01:10:21,748 I don't give a shit about the umbrella! 1336 01:10:21,787 --> 01:10:24,847 I'm in love with you. Don't you understand that? 1337 01:10:24,890 --> 01:10:26,084 That doesn't give you the license... 1338 01:10:26,125 --> 01:10:27,820 to do any stupid thing that comes into your head. 1339 01:10:27,860 --> 01:10:29,691 This is not stupid. 1340 01:10:32,331 --> 01:10:36,495 I just... I'm sorry. 1341 01:10:36,535 --> 01:10:39,766 I want to kiss you without feeling guilty. 1342 01:10:39,805 --> 01:10:41,329 You know? 1343 01:10:42,942 --> 01:10:45,570 All right. Fair enough. 1344 01:10:45,611 --> 01:10:48,944 How much time do you need? 1345 01:10:48,981 --> 01:10:51,779 Would you go away? 1346 01:10:51,817 --> 01:10:53,444 Honey? 1347 01:10:55,821 --> 01:10:58,255 I'm sorry. I thought you were the phone guy. 1348 01:10:58,290 --> 01:11:02,192 I'll be right out. 1349 01:11:03,429 --> 01:11:05,590 Honey, I want to get out of here pretty soon. 1350 01:11:05,631 --> 01:11:09,294 I'll meet you at the front door in a few minutes. 1351 01:11:10,803 --> 01:11:12,430 Are you all right? 1352 01:11:12,471 --> 01:11:16,202 Yeah, I'm fine. I... 1353 01:11:16,242 --> 01:11:19,143 I'm fine. I just... I have a little... 1354 01:11:19,178 --> 01:11:21,169 Could you have Deborah come here? 1355 01:11:21,213 --> 01:11:23,181 Honey, what's going on? 1356 01:11:23,215 --> 01:11:26,742 It's a woman thing, honey. You don't want to know. 1357 01:11:28,087 --> 01:11:29,384 OK. 1358 01:11:29,421 --> 01:11:30,786 OK. 1359 01:11:40,366 --> 01:11:42,231 You've got to get out. 1360 01:11:42,268 --> 01:11:43,633 Where am I going to go? 1361 01:11:45,804 --> 01:11:48,967 Get in. Get back in there! 1362 01:11:58,217 --> 01:12:00,185 - Hello? - Hi. 1363 01:12:00,219 --> 01:12:02,346 - Are you OK? - Yeah. 1364 01:12:05,591 --> 01:12:07,786 - Frank? - Yeah. 1365 01:12:11,096 --> 01:12:12,961 Frank, come out here. 1366 01:12:14,300 --> 01:12:15,790 Frank! 1367 01:12:23,442 --> 01:12:26,240 Frank, go out the way you came in. 1368 01:12:26,278 --> 01:12:28,576 I'll call you. 1369 01:12:30,215 --> 01:12:31,477 Thanks for having me. 1370 01:12:31,517 --> 01:12:33,747 Thanks for stopping by. 1371 01:12:33,786 --> 01:12:36,380 Are you OK? 1372 01:12:36,422 --> 01:12:38,549 Yeah. 1373 01:12:38,590 --> 01:12:40,581 Fuck, I don't know what I am. 1374 01:12:40,626 --> 01:12:42,287 Hi. 1375 01:12:45,664 --> 01:12:47,222 What's happening? 1376 01:12:47,266 --> 01:12:50,702 My life is fucked. 1377 01:12:50,736 --> 01:12:51,930 But the real ending of the movie... 1378 01:12:51,971 --> 01:12:53,871 is when they fight the MIGs at the end. 1379 01:12:53,906 --> 01:12:56,033 Because he has passed over into the gay way. 1380 01:12:56,075 --> 01:12:58,839 They are this gay fighting fucking force, 1381 01:12:58,877 --> 01:13:01,710 and they're beating the Russians. 1382 01:13:01,747 --> 01:13:03,977 And it's over, and they fucking land, 1383 01:13:04,016 --> 01:13:06,712 and Iceman's been trying to get Maverick the entire time. 1384 01:13:06,752 --> 01:13:08,344 Finally, he's got him, all right? 1385 01:13:08,387 --> 01:13:10,719 What is the last fucking line that they have together? 1386 01:13:10,756 --> 01:13:12,883 They're all hugging and kissing and happy, 1387 01:13:12,925 --> 01:13:15,018 and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says... 1388 01:13:15,060 --> 01:13:18,860 "Man, you can ride my tail anytime"! 1389 01:13:18,897 --> 01:13:20,387 And what does Maverick say? 1390 01:13:20,432 --> 01:13:22,525 "You can ride mine"! 1391 01:13:22,568 --> 01:13:26,971 Sword fight! Sword fight! 1392 01:13:27,006 --> 01:13:30,271 - Fucking "A," man! - Yeah! 1393 01:13:49,395 --> 01:13:52,853 Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me. 1394 01:13:52,898 --> 01:13:55,389 I thought this was your car. 1395 01:13:55,434 --> 01:13:58,460 I didn't see you at the party. 1396 01:14:00,739 --> 01:14:04,038 Deborah wouldn't let me in. 1397 01:14:04,076 --> 01:14:06,271 Really? 1398 01:14:06,311 --> 01:14:08,108 Yeah. 1399 01:14:08,147 --> 01:14:09,705 I love Deborah. 1400 01:14:11,016 --> 01:14:15,510 She's a little abrasive sometimes, don't you think? 1401 01:14:15,554 --> 01:14:16,953 Yeah. 1402 01:14:19,625 --> 01:14:21,650 I wonder how Duane puts up with her. 1403 01:14:21,693 --> 01:14:24,321 Yeah, or how she puts up with him, huh? 1404 01:14:24,363 --> 01:14:28,857 Yeah. They're married. 1405 01:14:30,135 --> 01:14:36,870 That's part of what marriage is - putting up. 1406 01:14:39,978 --> 01:14:43,072 No, thanks. I got my own. 1407 01:14:46,585 --> 01:14:49,315 To old friends. 1408 01:15:03,135 --> 01:15:05,695 Your car needs some work, man. 1409 01:15:05,737 --> 01:15:08,535 Yeah, it could definitely use a new interior. 1410 01:15:08,574 --> 01:15:11,907 You never knew how to take care of your stuff, man. 1411 01:15:15,614 --> 01:15:17,673 Well, I... 1412 01:15:20,252 --> 01:15:22,777 What about that... 1413 01:15:22,821 --> 01:15:25,051 that motorcycle you had... 1414 01:15:25,090 --> 01:15:30,357 with the little speakers on it and the fuzzy seats? 1415 01:15:32,397 --> 01:15:34,695 That thing was trashed. 1416 01:15:36,969 --> 01:15:38,163 Yeah. 1417 01:15:38,203 --> 01:15:41,263 - What was it like? - What? 1418 01:15:43,008 --> 01:15:45,033 Sleeping with my wife. 1419 01:15:47,179 --> 01:15:49,409 Huh? 1420 01:15:52,251 --> 01:15:53,878 Huh? 1421 01:15:55,420 --> 01:15:57,513 What was it like? 1422 01:15:59,391 --> 01:16:01,222 It's OK, man. She told me. 1423 01:16:01,260 --> 01:16:03,854 I just want to know what it was like. 1424 01:16:07,065 --> 01:16:08,259 I'm in love with her, Joseph. 1425 01:16:08,300 --> 01:16:10,825 I know that. 1426 01:16:10,869 --> 01:16:13,963 You've made that abundantly clear. 1427 01:16:17,843 --> 01:16:19,470 I should have told you... 1428 01:16:19,511 --> 01:16:22,036 No, you should not have fucked her! 1429 01:16:22,080 --> 01:16:23,445 That's what you shouldn't have done! 1430 01:16:23,482 --> 01:16:25,848 I didn't fuck her. I made love to her. 1431 01:16:25,884 --> 01:16:27,374 - Really? - Yes. 1432 01:16:27,419 --> 01:16:29,148 So sweet. Why don't you shut up for a minute? 1433 01:16:29,188 --> 01:16:31,520 Why don't you shut up? 1434 01:16:31,557 --> 01:16:33,923 I'm not the only one involved. It was her choice! 1435 01:16:33,959 --> 01:16:35,927 Really? Is that so? 1436 01:16:35,961 --> 01:16:37,826 I seem to remember her choosing me, 1437 01:16:37,863 --> 01:16:39,063 but maybe I got it wrong here. 1438 01:16:39,097 --> 01:16:41,292 Maybe I should go ask her right now. 1439 01:16:41,333 --> 01:16:43,426 Why do you want to make a big show of this? 1440 01:16:43,468 --> 01:16:45,402 Maybe I should go ask her. We're all here. 1441 01:16:45,437 --> 01:16:49,430 We can fucking get this out right now, all right? 1442 01:16:49,474 --> 01:16:51,101 Joseph! 1443 01:16:51,143 --> 01:16:53,577 Joseph, Joseph. 1444 01:16:53,612 --> 01:16:54,909 What are you doing? 1445 01:16:54,947 --> 01:16:57,381 Were you able to stop yourself, Frank? 1446 01:17:00,152 --> 01:17:02,347 - Sarah? - This isn't going to help. 1447 01:17:02,387 --> 01:17:04,252 - Joe. - Sarah? 1448 01:17:04,289 --> 01:17:06,553 It's your lawful-wedded husband here! 1449 01:17:06,592 --> 01:17:07,957 I think it's time we had a little talk! 1450 01:17:07,993 --> 01:17:09,221 Get the fuck off! 1451 01:17:09,261 --> 01:17:11,889 Sarah, get your little ass out here! 1452 01:17:11,930 --> 01:17:13,488 Kick his ass! 1453 01:17:13,532 --> 01:17:16,057 Stop it! What are you doing? 1454 01:17:16,101 --> 01:17:19,696 Stop it. What's your problem? Do you have something... 1455 01:17:19,738 --> 01:17:22,229 Frank over here informed me that you chose him, 1456 01:17:22,274 --> 01:17:23,707 which I find a little confusing... 1457 01:17:23,742 --> 01:17:24,970 because I seem to remember you marrying me, 1458 01:17:25,010 --> 01:17:27,103 but apparently he was the last one to fuck you, 1459 01:17:27,145 --> 01:17:29,613 so maybe I'm wrong! 1460 01:17:30,782 --> 01:17:32,773 Take it home, guy. 1461 01:17:32,818 --> 01:17:37,517 In case anybody didn't get that, my husband over here... 1462 01:17:37,556 --> 01:17:39,581 wants to know why I fucked Frank over here. 1463 01:17:39,625 --> 01:17:42,219 He seems to think that if he humiliates me, 1464 01:17:42,261 --> 01:17:45,059 it will put me in my fucking little place. 1465 01:17:45,097 --> 01:17:46,655 But what you don't understand, buddy, 1466 01:17:46,698 --> 01:17:49,633 is I don't give a fuck, because as far as I'm concerned, 1467 01:17:49,668 --> 01:17:51,363 this marriage is over! 1468 01:17:54,606 --> 01:17:56,164 Happy now? 1469 01:17:58,243 --> 01:18:00,871 What about you? Isn't this what you wanted? 1470 01:18:00,912 --> 01:18:02,777 What do you think? 1471 01:18:02,814 --> 01:18:05,146 Then who the hell's happy here? 1472 01:18:05,183 --> 01:18:06,480 What, is it you? 1473 01:18:06,518 --> 01:18:08,486 Frank, are you the happy guy here? 1474 01:18:08,520 --> 01:18:10,920 Right. I'm sorry. You happened to fall in love. 1475 01:18:10,956 --> 01:18:12,480 I don't want to stand in the way... 1476 01:18:12,524 --> 01:18:14,287 of my two best friends falling in love, 1477 01:18:14,326 --> 01:18:16,419 so you guys go off and live happily ever after. 1478 01:18:16,461 --> 01:18:19,794 Joseph, fuck you. I married you. 1479 01:18:19,831 --> 01:18:22,026 Then why did you fuck him? 1480 01:18:22,067 --> 01:18:25,867 What about that fucking slut you left that party with? 1481 01:18:25,904 --> 01:18:28,236 Listen to me. I did not fuck her. 1482 01:18:28,273 --> 01:18:30,867 I could have, but I didn't. 1483 01:18:34,146 --> 01:18:35,943 Give me the keys. 1484 01:18:37,482 --> 01:18:39,006 What? 1485 01:18:39,051 --> 01:18:40,416 It's my car. Give me the keys. 1486 01:18:40,452 --> 01:18:42,716 We're starting the distribution of property? 1487 01:18:42,754 --> 01:18:45,689 Give me the fucking keys! 1488 01:18:45,724 --> 01:18:46,952 Honey, where are you going? 1489 01:18:46,992 --> 01:18:48,653 Wherever the fuck I want! 1490 01:18:48,694 --> 01:18:52,892 - Sarah! - Frank, I'm sorry. 1491 01:18:52,931 --> 01:18:56,367 This isn't me, you know. You did this! 1492 01:19:06,978 --> 01:19:08,468 I'm sorry, Joe. 1493 01:19:09,981 --> 01:19:12,950 That's really special, Frank. You fuck my wife, 1494 01:19:12,984 --> 01:19:14,383 ruin my marriage, she dumps you, 1495 01:19:14,419 --> 01:19:16,979 but the important thing is that you feel bad. 1496 01:19:22,427 --> 01:19:24,327 She stopped at the light. 1497 01:19:41,346 --> 01:19:43,337 You son of a bitch. 1498 01:20:00,399 --> 01:20:01,866 Sarah! 1499 01:20:04,302 --> 01:20:05,963 Oh, God. 1500 01:20:13,779 --> 01:20:15,110 Get in. 1501 01:20:34,232 --> 01:20:38,032 Do you ever think that we have too much time on our hands? 1502 01:20:38,069 --> 01:20:39,502 With all the advances we've made... 1503 01:20:39,538 --> 01:20:41,438 in extending the human life span... 1504 01:20:41,473 --> 01:20:44,704 that perhaps nature's cruelest irony... 1505 01:20:44,743 --> 01:20:48,941 is that we get progressively stupider and stupider... 1506 01:20:48,980 --> 01:20:51,505 with each passing generation? 1507 01:20:51,550 --> 01:20:56,283 Someday, we'll live for 300 years... 1508 01:20:56,321 --> 01:21:01,088 but we won't be able to sit still for five seconds. 1509 01:21:04,029 --> 01:21:05,826 Just a thought.